Soccer: Beautiful game can do without ugly cheats

The world is relishing the beautiful game right now.

Non-soccer fans are being captivated, at least in part by the All Whites' heroics of the past 10 days.

And what's not to like about the quadrennial jamboree of the planet's most popular sport?

Well, here's one thing which can drive you to biffing a pillow at the television screen: the constant, systematic, almost accepted level of cheating to try and win free kicks.

And this is not the 50-50 moments, jumping for a high ball, arms tangling, which can go either way. This is about the craven attempts by most nations to get opponents in trouble with the referees.

They're largely a rum lot too, these supposed leading arbiters of the game, but that's for another day.

What is appalling to behold is the diving, the dramatic flinging of bodies to the turf, the clutching of the face when it hasn't been touched, the rolling about in mock agony, taking tumbles with an opposing foot nowhere nearby.

This is nothing new. Take the 1998 finals.

It's France vs Croatia. The semifinals. A free kick for Croatia. As the players lined up in the penalty area, the outstanding French defender Laurent Blanc gently pushed Croatian Slaven Bilic as the players did their standard jostling for position.

Bilic clutched his face and fell to the ground. The referee assumed the worst, hurried in and presented Blanc with a red card. That immediately ruled him out of the final. France went on to beat Brazil 3-0 in the final, but that wasn't the point. A terrific footballer missed a chance to perform on the biggest stage of them all through a piece of deliberate cheating.

Fast forward four years and Brazil were doing it tough against Turkey. It was 1-1 late on. In a moment of frustration, a Turk kicked the ball against star midfielder Rivaldo's legs out near the corner flag.

Rivaldo grabbed his face and went down as if he'd been pepper-sprayed. It meant another red card for a Turkish player, and Brazil got out of jail against nine opponents en route to their fifth title.

Rivaldo saw nothing wrong; neither did Bilic. It's all about the bottom line. Both had cribbed an unfair advantage through blatant cheating. Nothing less.

The world governing body Fifa frequently makes noises about being determined to get to grips with this disease afflicting the game. Talk about empty promises.

They've done nothing. They appear to simply hope that in four years' time it will have worn off, like a fresh stain. As if.

There is a strong debate swirling about on the merits of using technology to determine whether goals have been scored.

What should be of at least as much concern to the politicians of the Swiss-based Fifa is stamping out the odious feigning of injury or fouls, especially those designed to set up an opponent for a yellow or, worse, red card.

Italy clearly had this in mind once All Whites striker Rory Fallon had picked up an early yellow card in Nelspruit this week.

They weren't even subtle about it. Fallon had to walk on eggshells, not his natural footballing mien, and therefore his value to the All Whites decreased.

For reasons known only to them, Fifa aren't interested in even attempting to remove the cheats.

President Sepp Blatter and his cronies bang on about not wanting to hold up the game while a fourth official checks a replay.

So here's an idea: after the game, or even the following morning, an assessor studies the tape, spots the cheats and rubs them out for a set number of games.

The boot could really be put into the serial offenders. Just a hunch, but that would swiftly improve the situation.

Not entirely, of course. This unsavoury aspect has always been part of the game.

And don't think it's confined to the temperamental Central or South American nations either.

On Monday morning, a Swiss defender was mildly shoved by a Chilean player in the penalty box. Cue the clutched face, the tumble to the deck like a Friday-night drunk on Karangahape Rd and the inevitable yellow card for the Chilean from a referee who assumed the worst.

The one surprise out of all this is that those who get opponents in trouble don't get a decent kicking from the sinned-against players' teammates.

Without wanting to condone wanton violence on the park, it would be an understandable reaction. A case of a player reaping what he'd sown.