Supershorts: Bewitching Kewell

As if things weren't bad enough for our Convict-descended chums from over the Tasman, a witch doctor says there's a curse on Harry Kewell. South African healer Bishop Isaac Nonyane called upon Aussie Prime Minister Kevin Rudd to exorcise the "malicious spirits" by sending good wishes to the easily spooked striker.

"No one has bewitched him," said Nonyane - who has claimed to be communicating with his dead grandmother - as he held a Bible and a picture of Kewell. "But it is because of malicious spirits, and the main intention of those malicious spirits is to hurt him."

A groin injury kept Kewell out of Australia's disastrous opening 4-0 defeat to Germany.

Rudd, not for a minute buying into any of this nonsense, said: "I think Harry's fantastic." Then, buying into the nonsense, he added: "I wish him the absolute best."

EYE LINE FEVER
You can always rely on the ads at halftime in an All Blacks test to give you a good barometer reading on the state of the male psyche. As Ireland limped into the changing rooms, we were informed about a sale at Harvey Norman's (electronics: pretty blokey), a screening of the new Terminator movie (killer robots: very blokey) and chainsaws (blokey overload). But what's this? L'Oreal Men's new wrinkle-restoring eye cream? It wouldn't have happened in Pinetree's day.

WAKE-UP CALL FOR MA'A
For the record, the people trying to get you to rub this stuff on your face say it's a "refreshing wake-up call that dissolves signs of fatigue like dark under-eye circles and puffiness". Perhaps it's more Ma'a Nonu's kind of thing.

ON YER BIKE L'OREAL
They've discussed L'Oreal's affront to manliness over on gtamotorcycle.com. On that forum one writer helpfully suggests that a "tube of generic hemorrhoid cream is cheaper, more effective at removing dark circles and less feminine than this crap". Too right.

ALL WHITES EXODUS
There's room on that coattail for more.

If you missed the chance to cheer on the Warriors showing their support for the All Whites by wearing, er, mostly white jerseys, and if the All Blacks training in all white escaped you, never fear.

Wellington basketball mob the Exodus Saints will mark their desperate bid for reflected glory - sorry - show their support by wearing white in next Friday's match.

(If you see any other coattail-riding expressions of support, drop us a line.)

THE ODDEST ODDS
Some fruity odds are on offer with the world's bookies.

The results of matches, the number of goals and their scorers are not the only things on which serious punters are laying wagers.

Among the odds being offered are: 10-1, Wayne Rooney to be sent off, with 150-1 on offer for it to be for stomping on an opponent's (or teammate's) genitals; 100-1, Thierry Henry to score with his hand; 9-1 favourite, Jermain Defoe to be the England player who misses in a penalty shoot-out.

LAWN-SPOTTER'S GUIDE
Been admiring that turf? All World Cup pitches use grass grown on farms in Manitoba, Canada, from two strains of perennial rye grass: Zoom and SR4600.

GOOD WEEK: JOSEPH HASBOUN
The Bethlehem restaurateur has found a novel use for Israel's wall that separates the town from nearby Jerusalem. He screens World Cup matches on it, while serving up grub at the Bahamas Sea Food Restaurant.

BAD WEEK: CAPE VULTURES
South African gamblers have taken to smoking dried vulture brains for their renowned tendency to boost a punter's powers of prediction when placing wagers on the World Cup.

THE NUMBER: 127 DECIBELS
The volume reached by a vuvuzela. An air horn reaches 123.5 decibels, a chainsaw hits 110 decibels and those exposed to 85 decibels risk permanent hearing loss.