Is there anything weirder than the miserable story of the English football side? Why is the mother ship so useless at the world's biggest sport, given that it so dominates the game's international profile?
England has the most prominent premier league on the planet, and a fully professional system sodeep it reaches names like Accrington Stanley and Morecambe. There's a vibrant media, fans who live for their clubs, famous stadiums, pots of money and - as the old line goes - pub teams who could beat the All Whites.
Yet many of their most famous club managers come from other countries, and they can't always find a national team boss from home either. The club teams are overly stacked with foreigners, and the England team looks more like leftovers than the main course.
When they get to the World Cup, there's every chance that teams from rocky outcrops will play better than the country we regard as the home of the game. England's specialty is cock-ups, like penalty shootout disasters and goalkeepers who play like they've been on the drink.
It's not just that England are out of this World Cup. It's the way they played that is so baffling because they've been like this for years and do nothing about it. When everything was on the line against Uruguay, they were hesitant, awkward, stilted, frightened, out of position. All the reasoning under the sun doesn't explain why they are so bad.
And they are sliding. England went to Brazil with what looked like a development team and are left pretending yet again that Wayne Rooney is a world-class player.
England have been shown up by Costa Rica - with a population to match New Zealand's - before they even met. Teams like Ghana - who gave Germany a decent fright yesterday - play superior, flowing and more confident football.
English football has meant so much to so many of us - it would be fantastic to see them in contention, to be good enough to make a final. Instead, they are the biggest riddle in world sport and one that apparently is beyond solving.
Diving dilemma Is it me ... but there appears to be an acceptable level of diving going on at this World Cup. Put it this way - divers aren't ruining the show. The referees have let a few of them writhe around in fake agony while letting the game go on, which may be shaming players into good behaviour.
Actually, some of the dodgy-looking tumbles have turned out to be legitimate, thanks to the razor-sharp replays.
Best ever This is the best World Cup ever, which is a way of saying I don't truly remember the other ones in their fullness and this one is outstanding so far with loads of goals and fortune favouring the brave. Comparing World Cups turns into an exercise in comparing highlight reels. This tournament lacks a dominant team yet or an iconic player, although Lionel Messi may be showing signs.
