48 hours: Just a punch-up away from footballing greatness

At last things are looking up for the Football Knights and their prospects took another turn for the better at the weekend.

Just when all seemed lost, there are signs that a new level of professionalism is finally seeping into the club, that the world game has arrived on our doorstep in the way it is intended to be played.

The build-up, it must be said, has been superb, with - depending on which version of events you wish to believe - players refusing to play, walking out, being told not to turn up, arguing among themselves and the chairman giving the players a rev-up.

The Knights are now just one dressing room punch-up and two call-girl scandals away from being regarded as one of the top six clubs in world football.

They enjoyed a magnificent weekend, grabbing record column inches - despite not even playing. That capped a marvellous few weeks, particularly in the way they matched Manchester United stride for stride as Danny Hay's absence and likely departure mirrored the drama involving Roy Keane and Sir Alex Ferguson at Manchester United.

The Knights made further major gains over the weekend with departing player Simon Yeo's decision to refer to coach John Adshead as "the gaffer" - an event which may come to be seen as a turning point in the club's troubled history.

The term "gaffer" comes right from the heart of English football, and English football is right at the heart of all football. Get the words right and the results will come.

It makes it an even greater pity that Yeo - a property magnate in his spare time - has quit New Zealand and his beloved gaffer to return to England. But as Yeo made clear in his departing speech, when you've got rent to pay on a bedsit in Ealing, you've got rent to pay on a bedsit in Ealing. There's just no getting around that, and the tough decision had to be made.

And what a parting gift.

The gaffer word wasn't the only good Knights football news of the weekend, although another revelation was tinged with disappointment.

Goalkeeper Danny Milosevic revealed that there was nothing unprofessional about secret meetings in which players passed votes of no confidence in the coaching staff. Just run-of-the-mill stuff which can be neatly fitted in between the morning fitness session and the afternoon kickabout.

Milosevic slammed less worldly teammates - namely Yeo - for not understanding that hush-hush gatherings where you give the coach a right good kicking, figuratively speaking, are an essential part of playing footie in the top echelons.

As any fool knows, moaning is the heart and soul of soccer. Just ask a referee near you. The gaffer has got to take it, just like everyone else.

"Gaffer." It rolls off the tongue like a Wayne Rooney strike to the corner of the net. Names like Ferguson, Clough, Shankly and Paisley fill the air. Gaffer, gaffer, gaffer.

And it should be music to the ears of the Knights faithful, who have had to wait so long for any kind of sign that the nightmare is over.

This is the time for the club to build on Yeo's words and the other good work of recent weeks and put the icing on the cake by instituting the following football essentials.

* Have a manager instead of a coach. Adshead's position has been continually undermined by being tagged as the coach. In football, a coach is something you wreck on the way back from away games. Any team worth their salt has a manager.

* The players must start referring to each other as "the lads". To be fair, there have been encouraging signs during the season but Yeo failed badly in his departure statement by referring to teammates as "players".

* Now that the position of manager has been established, he needs to be sacked. Every self-respecting soccer club in the world must sack a manager. Since Adshead hasn't been sacked already - with a one win from 15 record - there probably isn't much chance of it happening. But the Knights should take the plunge and there will be a double benefit: sacking a manager sounds grander than sacking a coach.

* Install a caretaker manager. All the great clubs do this from time to time. For a start, this conveys the message to the fans that there is something to take care of. It also implies that your club is such an important place that someone is prepared to play the fall guy just for the glory of saying he had been your manager. Even if it was only for a couple of days.

* 4-4-2/3-5-2/4-2-4/4-3-3. The Knights don't refer to their playing formations enough. This leads the public to believe they are running around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off. Which would be most unfair.