48 hours: Gongs aplenty, few stars

It has been a stunning weekend of sport but nothing compares with the shock of Roger Federer failing to turn up to collect his international gong at the People's Choice sports awards ceremony in Auckland on Friday night.

For those who missed this affair, Sky TV and a load of their mates have come up with awards where you, the public, not only help decide who the nominations are, but then vote in the winners. What power.

How many of you actually took the opportunity, or how exactly you voted, is unclear. A television mob which supplies every statistic under the sun during rugby matches was remarkably short on declaring voting numbers. The best guesstimate available from a Sky person on radio yesterday was a couple of thousand voters were involved.

How you count the votes without actually knowing the numbers beats me. It's the sort of mathematics which works a treat in your average Zimbabwe election but, hey, let's not quibble. A few thousand is a few thousand more than the number of journos who usually decide these things.

And what an occasion. Never in the history of awards ceremonies have so many compliments been paid - to each other - by so few presenters.

There was also a red carpet, red carpet highlights, repeated references to the red carpet, and red carpet interviews. One man even revealed where he hired his suit from, and basketball coach Kenny Stone's wife let it slip that she bought her dress while Christmas shopping. Where's Joan Rivers when you really need her?

It was also a night to show the world our cultural class, with everything on show from classical music to Norm Hewitt dancing. You don't get a wider range than that.

Federer missed a treat.

Known for his charm and modesty, maybe this red carpet business was just too much for a man of his demeanour.

Safety should certainly not have been an issue. The security measures in place were impressive. A squad of big-necks in suits not only had every corner covered, but were in communication with each other.

The security blanket worked to perfection. Not one of the 17 children from Massey who made up the screaming and adoring fans attempted to break through the cordon. The Prime Minister looked completely at ease.

There were also spare taxis constantly in the background. It was a security and transport triumph that bodes well for the 2011 rugby World Cup.

It's a nifty move including an international category - a way of having the world's biggest stars gracing your event.

And in Swiss tennis ace Federer's defence, maybe - horrors of horrors - he didn't even know of his triumph. There was no indication he'd even been sent a text message (maybe this also explains American cycling star Lance Armstrong's no-show last year).

There wasn't even a televised thank-you message. You know the sort, with Roger - an alp or a bank in the background - sad to be absent while commiserating with the Liverpool soccer team and the other luminaries who graced his category, and thanking us profusely. Or he could have sent someone from the Swiss Consular Agency along.

The show had to go on, and our own stars did their best to fill the remarkably small gaps left by a dazzling array of adverts.

Netballer Irene van Dyk was unable to appear in person to collect her award in the sportswomen's category.

Van Dyk was forced out because she was going out to dinner in Lower Hutt, and you know how hard it is to get a reservation there. But in a message broadcast to the nation, she reminded us that life's too short not to enjoy every single moment. Could this have been the real reason she chose to stick with the Lower Hutt nosh?

All Black boss Graham Henry bravely tried to give his coaching award to rowing guru Dick Tonks. Derren Witcombe, who was wearing a neck brace and looked in no fit state to be out on the town anyway, was understandably subdued in representing the All Blacks, who won the team award.

And since Michael Campbell was the supreme and men's winner, and the icon award went to the late Sir Peter Blake, it meant gushy acceptance speeches were extremely thin on the ground. Campbell's mum even dissed one of the trophies for its poor celebratory liquid retention potential. Go mum.

The icon category business was most puzzling. Out of a plethora of candidates, Sir Peter, Sir Edmund Hillary, Neroli Fairhall, the late Possum Bourne and Sarah Ulmer emerged.

The nation has spoken, but Sir Ed's failure to scoop the award was received with tremendous shock in my living room.

Maybe he reached a peak far too early in his career. The 1950s is just too long ago to remember with feeling or at all, especially for our most proficient text messaging voters.

The irony would not have been lost on Sir Ed. His haste in scrambling up the mountain meant he has paid a heavy price all these years later.

The Kiwi rugby league team were also dealt a blow, blindsided by a technical hitch.

The People's Choice people get in first, so buck international trends and end the year in October.

A small suggestion. There could be a new category: Best Performance by a man/woman/team/icon after October.

There should be room for a new award because that international category has to go. Enough is enough. Armstrong, Federer and co have had their chance. It's time to pull our red carpet out from under that lot.

Highs and Lows

* High: The Black Caps run chase, Moss Burmester breaking an ancient Anthony Moss swimming record, the sun shining - for once - on the Puhinui three-day event.

* Low: None springs to mind, but there is lingering disappointment that the Black Caps let a chance to win a series against Australia slip away.