*We can not guarantee said CVs will ever be seen by anyone in any position of authority.
Job descriptions:
All Whites: This role requires an inspiring leader, namely to motivate our captain to play. Must be unbeatable at World Cups and an English accent won't hurt. Not required to speak with media during key home qualifiers.
Warriors: The desired applicant would ideally be able to survive on a diet of only Mad Butcher sausages and Kava. A child of divorce or someone who was surrounded by family fueds growing up would be ideal, given our ownership situation. Any prospective employee would also be advised against buying property in the region - renting on a short-term lease is a much safer option.
Hurricanes: The applicant would be appreciative of the elderly - no more clean-outs of senior players, please. But also someone with extensive baby-sitting experience, in order to look after Corey Jane when he's spaced out on sleeping pills. And perhaps a person with a musical background who could come up with a new chant to replace the always-imaginative 'HURRICANES clap-clap-clap HURRICANES clap-clap-clap'.
Post applications of interest below in comments..
Chef Scott
Adam Scott served up quite a meal at the Masters Champions dinner yesterday ahead of this week's tournament at Augusta. You can't beat surf and turf and Pav with Anzac biscuits.
Served in Honor of Mr. Adam Scott: Last night's #Masters Champions Dinner menu (H/T @RexHoggardGC) pic.twitter.com/mWQB3K9Rd7
Sandle-wearing caddie ditched from Masters:
English amateur Matthew Fitzpatrick experienced the less flexible side of Augusta when his caddie was excluded for wanting to wear sandals.
Regular bagman Lorne Duncan cannot wear shoes because of a foot condition but Masters rules dictate no sandals and Fitzpatrick, 19, was forced to find a new caddie for the week.
Duncan vented his frustration on Twitter, saying: "Apparently aesthetics are more important than people. I told TD [tournament director] he was pathetic. I hate the place."
Liverpool striker's smooth moves
When Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge finds the back of the net, he breaks into dance.
And when Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge visits primary school kids, he breaks into dance.
The man is a dancing machine and this great clip of his visit to Anfield Juniors Primary School shows he is as smooth off the field as he is on it.
Steven Adams plays tag:
In the second quarter of yesterday's Thunder-Kings game, Sacramento's Jared Cunningham was given orders to intentional foul Steven Adams away from the play.
Normally, the attacking side would simply take the foul and the free-throw, but Steven Adams isn't your normal NBA player.
Adams knowing that he isn't the greatest foul shooter in the world did his best to avoid the foul by running around and trying to dodge Mr. Cunningham's intentional foul attempt with little avail. But it made for entertaining viewing.
Throwback Thursday (This week's choice from Herald Online Sports Editor Cameron McMillan)
This much I know...SummerSlam 1988 took place on my sixth birthday, we got a copy of a VHS in Hawera a few weeks later, this 31-second bout between Ultimate Warrior and the Honky Tonk Man was the highlight of my life until I attended the filming of Top Town later that year. Then he faced Hulk Hogan.
RIP Ultimate Warrior.
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