I am writing this having just returned to my hotel room at about tea time on day three and I'm not happy.
I'm not as upset as the little boy I walked past on the way to my car, or the disillusioned students who reckon they're not going to watchthe Black Caps again, or the elderly Northern Districts members who can't understand how the Blacks can continue to be so poor at test cricket and are worried about the quality of their ground being misrepresented and their Association missing vital Sunday gate-takings.
I reckon my paymasters are a bit peeved at missing out on two days and a session of valuable viewer hours yet again too.
Do we all have a right to be angry? You bet we do. Nine wickets in fewer than three days is a thrashing. Okay, there were times the Black Caps had South Africa under pressure but so what? In the end, they were unable to capitalise and then got spanked.
This series is vitally important for the health of cricket in this country. Hobart is a lifetime ago and that good will has been spent. Zimbabwe is irrelevant because Zimbabwe was not and is not a team worthy of test status or even international status. This was the one we all waited for and all we have for show is one T20 win.
Would the Blacks Caps have won the first test if the rain had not come? Probably not. Let's be fair, four hundreds in the final innings are a major rarity and, as has been demonstrated over and over again, our cricket team is only ever one wicket away from a collapse.
However what the rain did do in Dunedin was allow those of us with a vested interest in Black Caps success to try and promote our team and try and drum up some support for the second test; then we were all let down.
They have one more chance in Wellington - but how can I expect anything different? I keep hearing from the team that they accept responsibility for their poor shot selections and inadequate techniques, and believe me there are serious issues with some of the defensive techniques I'm seeing, but where is the improvement?
More worrying - can a couple of net sessions have any impact on their respective games? Really, we are reliant on the one 'out of the box' performance they give us every so often to save the summer.
Perhaps the time has come to forget T20 form or ODI form and select a team from those who are actually playing first-class cricket and in that sort of form. It worked for Mark Gillespie and it works for Chris Martin but the scheduling makes it difficult to give our so-called top players enough provincial first-class cricket to hone appropriate techniques and batting mentalities.
Something has to happen though because our test game is not moving forward.
Yes, I have to accept South Africa are good and the ball reverse swung but to accept that as an excuse is to be defeatist. This is test cricket, the ball swings and the bowling is good ... but you have to be up to it mentally and technically.