When the Martians finally get hold of the 2004 Wisden almanack they'll be baffled by the phenomenon that was this year's Black Caps. Come to think of it, so are we.
Five stories of 2004
1. Ian Butler v Brendon Bracewell: Butler comes off the long run-up, in this paper,
and complains that he's not getting a chance in Australia on the sort of tracks that he should revel on. Which amounts to a scarcely veiled criticism of the selection policies of his coach. The coach's brother then comes out within a couple of weeks and accuses the 23-year-old of being an infectious misery guts with the heart the size of a pea. Can the two events be related? No, surely not. Interestingly, in his short career Butler has compiled an already more impressive test record than the almost-permanently injured Bracewell. Can't remember anyone accusing Brendon of having a pea-sized heart.
2. Over throwing: Australian cricket correspondent Mike Coward got it right as he prefaced the first test of the summer between Australia and New Zealand, noting that it was great that finally we had cricket, rather than the issue of throwing, to talk about. Now we have the enchanting prospect of speculating for eternity whether bowlers are going beyond the 15 degrees of angle that is deemed a legal delivery (yawn).
3. To walk or not to walk, that is the question: Let's not blame Adam Gilchrist here as he's only doing what he feels right, but isn't it ironic when a player attempting to uphold the spirit of the game ends up opening an industrial vat's worth of worms. There is no winners here. Not Gilchrist and his ilk who are described as righteous. Not the umpires who have had another bad year and whose mistakes are often highlighted by walking. And not the game's authorities who have all the technology available to ensure almost all decisions are correct, yet don't seem to know whether, or how, to use it.
4. Chris Cairns retires: In terms of stories, the tour of England was a bit of a damp squib, with a 3-0 whitewash in the tests only marginally offset by victory in the Natwest one-day series also involving the West Indies. However it was Cairns farewell tour and it gave him a platform to leave the game as the greatest long-ball hitter of them all. At Lord's he plundered four sixes to pass his hero Viv Richards (84) and end with 87. His ratio of six per matches is significantly better than any other player. Of the players who could catch him, Brian Lara (65), Matthew Hayden (60) and Adam Gilchrist (52) will have to get a wriggle on. Andrew Flintoff (44) has a good shot and there is one other dark horse in the field ... read on.
5. Mark Richardson retires: The Herald on Sunday columnist wanted to go out a winner and he did, beating Darren Lehmann in the slow-coach race to end an otherwise undistinguished series against Australia. The Auckland leftie compiled a test average approaching 45 based on the cut, the drive and the nudge. Keep reading this organ for his unique insight into the game.
Five innings by a NZer of 2004
1. Jake Oram 126* v Australia, The Gabba: Just for a brief while, Oram gave the Black Caps hope that they could stick it with Australia. He belted three sixes, manipulated the strike while batting with the bunny Chris Martin and gave ample evidence why he's gathering the fastest growing fan club in the game.
2. Scott Styris 170 v South Africa, Eden Park: New Zealand are 12-2 when Styris walks out to bat and 285-4 when he leaves after 220 balls of breath-taking batting. Styris scored 108 runs in boundaries.
3. Chris Cairns 158 v South Africa, Eden Park: Styris' pyrotechnics ended shortly before Cairns started his. The Proteas can only watch the ball sail to all corners of Eden Park as Cairns scores 114 runs in boundaries, seven of them clearing the ropes.
4. Mark Richardson 101 v England, Lord's: Richardson is probably more aware of his potential place in history than any other player so he must have been feeling sick as a pig when his quest for a Lord's century ends seven runs shy in the first innings. Fortunately for him the game is moving at a cracking pace and he has a chance to bed himself in again in the second dig. Some 300 balls later he has a ton, but his team-mates couldn't show the same application.
5. Stephen Fleming 108 v South Africa, Jade Stadium: This 115-ball effort just shades his 115 against Pakistan on the same ground. New Zealand lost the first match of the series against the confident Proteas and posted a decent 250-plus total in the second one-dayer. However it never looked as if it would trouble the Black Caps with Fleming in imperious form. One-day batting at its finest.
Five bowling performances to behold
1. Chris Cairns v England, Trent Bridge: In his final test the old dog nearly brought his pups home with a morale-boosting victory. His nine wickets for the match wasn't quite enough however.
2,3,4,5. Daniel Vettori in Australia: Pick a spell, any spell. The left-arm spinner got his mojo back in a big way, returning to the sort of form we knew he was capable off following a lean year. Hardly bowled a ball that would have missed the stumps, though had a hard job convincing umpires of it.
Five bizzarros
1. Skipping Skippy: OK, you're a decent enough batsman with a couple of test double centuries to your name who has had a dip in form and is dropped from the Black Caps (although it must be with some frustration as others seem to get twice as many chances as you). You go back to your first-class team and score buckets of runs. You play for New Zealand A and score buckets of runs and you find yourself back in the test team where in your one match you top score with 74 in the first innings and chip in with 21 in a disappointing second innings. Then, when your selection for the once-in-a-lifetime tour of England seems a formality, your name is missing (yet there is room to take an assistant coach). Feel confident that should MS Sinclair decide to write a book at the conclusion of his career, it will be one of the more interesting sports reads to hit the shelves.
2. Craig McMillan: It is probably in nobody's interest to keep dumping on a guy when he's down, but that said, some of McMillan's behaviour this year has verged on the bizarre. Every time he made a score of note he used it as a chance to round on his critics. In Australia he famously chatted with Adam Gilchrist before being dismissed next ball. He was dropped for the Adelaide test and took exception to an accredited photographer photographing him in the nets. This page might be in a club of one, but it believes the Black Caps needs an in-form McMillan. With more than 50 test sixes, he is young enough to give Cairns' record a shake too.
3. The Hamilton moonscape: Match referee Clive Lloyd nearly caused New zealand Cricket some serious embarrassment when he threatened to pull the pin prematurely on the South Africa-New Zealand test at Hamilton. A hole, no, make that a crater, appeared on the wicket causing havoc, a little danger, and convinced Stephen Fleming, a leftie, not to bat any left-handers in New Zealand's second innings.
4. The Pakistani journo: Zahid Malik probably thought covering Pakistan's tour to New Zealand was about as soft an assignment as you could get. But he left a trail of misfortune behind him. First he was surprised how difficult the Basin Reserve was to find, only to discover he was in Christchurch, not Wellington. Finally in Wellington (and we must confess, this was actually in the last days of 2003), Zahid first slept in and missed the first two sesssions of Saturday's play, then walked through a plate glass window at the ground, badly cutting his hands and legs. Zahid didn't stick around for the entire tour, though nobody is certain for the reasons behind his abrupt departure.
5. The Fleming kip: Chronically fatigued, New Zealand's intrepid captain is padded up to bat at No 3 against Australia in Adelaide when the cameras pan in on him in the players' area. Fleming is fast asleep. It didn't hurt him though as he woke up in time to compile an excellent 83.
Five to watch for 2005
Jamie How: Can't stop scoring runs. From the same school as Jacob Oram and Mathew Sinclair.
Iain O'Brien: Takes a lot of wickets for Wellington and can't be too far from from being asked to take a step up in class.
Lou Vincent: The Black Caps middle order isn't looking so secure that he can't force his way back in to the test team.
Shane Bond: Yeah, we know, but it's nice to believe isn't it?
Jesse Ryder: All the talent in the world, but has he got the application?
- HERALD ON SUNDAY
<EM>Christmas round-up 2004:</EM> Cricket
Chris Cairns
When the Martians finally get hold of the 2004 Wisden almanack they'll be baffled by the phenomenon that was this year's Black Caps. Come to think of it, so are we.
Five stories of 2004
1. Ian Butler v Brendon Bracewell: Butler comes off the long run-up, in this paper,
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