Chris Cairns: Chat with 'Two-metre Peter' catalyst for career end

Leaving the game in which I have been involved for nearly half my adult life was a tough decision. But leaving the game still enjoying it and being the best I could possibly be means I am a fortunate man.

All the people I told prior to the news breaking about my retirement greeted my decision with surprise as they had pencilled me in for the 2007 World Cup. I had stated in this very paper that I was committed to going through to the World Cup also. So what changed?

It was a simple conversation that I had with Peter Fulton in Napier after he'd scored a magnificent hundred in the final ODI vs Sri Lanka that was the catalyst for me re-evaluating my position.

Over a beer at the end of the match, I quizzed Peter about his recent involvement with the Black Caps and if he was enjoying it. He responded by saying he loved every second and just couldn't wait to get on the park to do his bit. When I heard that, I immediately thought of my recent past. I still loved the game but often I couldn't wait to get off the park after playing my part. There is a subtle difference here - but a big one.

I knew that for me to go through to the World Cup would require an unfaltering mindset and total commitment to physical conditioning. I showed to myself that I still possess these attributes by regaining my position after being dropped for the South African tour. However, after the Sri Lankan series, I sat down with my wife Carin and after going through a multitude of reflections, we both realised the best thing for me to do was to retire now while I still enjoyed the game.

We also discussed our business interests and, of course, family. What I used to get in the form of challenges and rewards used to be entirely derived from cricket. As you move into other endeavours and begin a family, you face many more challenges and get satisfaction from family that cannot be rivalled.

I've seen cricketers walk from the game they love happy. I have also seen many more who are angry or frustrated and felt they are owed something from the game.

When I walk away from the international stage for the last time on February 16, in front of the Eden Park crowd who have been so good to me, I will leave behind a piece of me.

The rest of me will forever be in love with the game of cricket.

- HERALD ON SUNDAY