Christopher Chang: Who would want to manage Chelsea?

There are currently two poisoned chalices that aren't worth touching in English football. Fabio Capello vacated the England manager position last month and now the hot seat at Stamford Bridge is waiting to be filled.

Despite the inherent differences in managing domestically and internationally, the two roles pose similar hazards to anyone brave enough to send in a CV to Chelsea and the FA.

Whoever dares to go near those jobs is on a hiding to nothing. Chelsea have more reason to expect silverware (they have the luxury of a player transfer system) and are far more likely to succeed in their competition, but neither team has persisted with a single manager in recent years.

A number of names have been proposed for both the England and Chelsea manager posts. Guardiola, Mourinho, Hiddick, van Gaal, Loew, Redknapp. All are undoubtedly good managers with strong reputations. But none are guaranteed a prolonged crack at staying in charge (as Mourinho can testify from his first spell at the helm).

Redknapp will most likely take charge of the Three Lions at some stage, and Chelsea fans seem desperate to bring back charismatic Jose. But even if those 'dream' appointments are made, there are still major hurdles that will prevent the managers from fulfilling the ambitions of their masters.

Two of those hurdles are English duo Frank Lampard and John Terry. Lampard was particularly outspoken (not to mention moody) during Villas-Boas' reign, which undermined his manager and, frankly, made him look pathetic. Terry's race relations issues have already divided the FA and is a mess that any incoming manager will have to deal with efficiently.

One man that won't be installed at Stamford Bridge to sort out the team - unfortunately - is Roy Keane.

The former Man Utd hardman, hardly the most reasonable and measured person, was visibly disgusted with the Chelsea players jesting before their FA Cup match against Birmingham.

"It's so childish, it's crazy," the Irishman fumed during ITV's coverage. "All that carry on is ridiculous, they've just let their manager down... It's an absolute disgrace, they should be professional, focused on the games and not behaving like that."

Keane has not been linked to either job, but the prospect of him butting heads with those players would be sheer entertainment.

For too long, the English national side has had a Get Out of Jail card when it comes to tournaments, namely heaping blame on the manager then firing him. The reality is, the players aren't good enough.

Most of Chelsea's players should be good enough, but reputations and price tags can blur the reality of their contributions. For example, Fernando Torres has now gone 24 hours and 30 minutes without a goal for club or country. In 50 games for Chelsea he has scored five goals under three managers, an average of 1.6 goals per boss.

The incessant changing of the guards costs Chelsea and the FA millions of pounds. It's mildly amusing for the neutral spectator, but for the long-suffering fan it's no longer a laughing matter.

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