Chris Rattue: Money's on Tony in Tua v Griffis

David Tua's return to the ring against Talmadge Griffis has raised the sort of enthusiasm most people reserve for events like watching a parking warden approach their car.

There was, unbelievably, a time when the country dreamt it might actually host a world heavyweight title fight. Those were also the days when we were led to believe Kevin Barry and Dave were like family.

Which only proves you never know what's around the corner with boxing.

As with just about everything in this sport, tomorrow's fight out west has some major mysteries. For a start, it's scheduled to begin at 10.30pm, which is hardly prime time viewing. This might lead to some of the best fights taking place in the country's living rooms.

Tua v Griffis will line up against a repeat episode of The Sopranos. And while sports fans are a pretty determined lot, devotees of the American gangsta series are some of the scariest people on the planet. A Tua fight would once have won by a knockout, but not any more.

The other mystery is Talmadge Griffis. He goes by the nickname of Two Guns, which isn't as interesting as his real name.

When your real name is Talmadge, you should try harder with your ring name.

So it's Tuaman v Two Guns.

Talmadge is certainly not a pretentious bloke. Two days before the fight, he happily took a call at his casino-slash-hotel from Herald boxing writer Peter Jessup. Just another tourist ripe for a whupping.

My prediction: Tua will gun him in one, do him in two, make him flee in three, or floor him in four.

At this point, God will get the credit, and there will be some wild prediction about fighting for the heavyweight championship of the world. As for which particular one, take your pick. I've never been able to sort out which one is which.

About the only certainly about Tua's Test Out West is this: whatever happens, we'll all be none the wiser.