Rave
How much do the English need me? You just have to look at my Twitter feed - @KP24 where I have 2.7 million followers - where I expressed disdain at the continuation of my international cricket isolation. I am batting the house down, people.
Kev, Miami
Rant
How ridiculous is it that I'm picking sand out of my magnificent hands when I should be picking apart the Aussie bowling attack. To think, me, Kevvy, not playing for England. What a travesty for the England fans and Piers Morgan. I feel for them.
KP, Miami
Rave
I thought my son, Sepp, handled himself extremely well in front of that humourless comedian in Zurich. It was lovely that Sepp referenced me when order was eventually restored. Such a lovely boy.
Mrs Blatter, The Afterlife
Rant
We let them through the middle, we let them through on the edges, we let them beat us convincingly and hold us to zero. Now we're seventh and, like Mick Fanning, we have the Sharks right behind us.
Cappy, Penrose
Rave
Shout out to the Warriors for letting me dominate again, and me winning the man of the match award for the umpteenth time against them. Cool stat for us too; the past two times the Warriors have been held to zero both teams have gone on to win the Grand Final - the Storm in 2009 and the Roosters in 2002.
Jimmy Maloney, Bondi, Sydney
Rant
Books? Reading? Look, books are for people like Chris Rogers and when I said "[We are] two different people, as in he reads a lot of books; I wouldn't read a book." I meant I would listen to one being read to me, but not actually read one. However, I do like the pictures.
Davey Warner,
Inside Joe Root's head
Rave
Vous ne devez pas comprendre les mots, David Warner. Vous avez juste besoin de savoir comment les epeler. (You do not need to understand the words, David Warner. You just need to know how to spell them).
Nigel Richards, Scrabble Tile Bag