Former All Black Sonny Bill Williams. Photo / Getty
Former All Black Sonny Bill Williams. Photo / Getty
OPINION:
The old cliché of “never meet your heroes” might need to be updated to “never follow your heroes online”.
In days past, with the heavy vetting of communications between sports stars and the general public, we rarely gleaned much insight into folks’ political or social beliefs. These days,despite the best efforts of administrators, errant tweets on election day, messages written onto taped wrists and the dreaded social-media share pull players and their platforms into the centre of hotly contested debates.
These parasocial relationships formed online create a distortion for both the player and their followers. It’s a false sense of intimacy which is bound to lead to conflict.
When an individual expresses a view outside the box in which their audience has placed them, the reaction is swift and amplified through the algorithm. This leads to a hardening of divides making it more difficult for us to reach each other. It’s the fundamental flaw of social media which sees folk trying to use it to build bridges when in reality it operates as an aggregator. It’s a place built on likes.
From time to time, those from outside your aggregate will pop in. A recurring frustration with these users is them wanting to engage in a discussion, which for them is theoretical and for you is a lived experience. This means you are not carrying the weight of the two sides of the conversation evenly.
For them it’s abstract, can be picked up or put down, for you it’s been something you’re forced to carry just by the nature of who you are. That inequity needs to be acknowledged in these conversations in order for them to be productive. The good ones happen when folks listen to try and lighten the load. Bad ones won’t ever acknowledge their weight.
On Tuesday, Sonny Bill Williams endorsed a message on Twitter which expressed anti-transgender sentiments. I like to believe Williams had no idea about the weight he was placing on the trans community when he shared that tweet, that he was unaware of the significance of the timing — he shared this view during our biggest city’s LGBT Pride Month.
While the trans community remains largely unheard, many of us are likely to hear a chorus of cis voices discussing trans people’s right to exist. Williams exited the conversation as abruptly as he entered it by deleting his tweet, but I hope that this leads to more meaningful reflection offline.
Sonny Bill Williams' deleted tweet endorsing an anti-trans message. Photo / Twitter
Conversation started at our most diametrically opposed point will rarely make its way towards reasoned debate. In order to find a consensus, we have to find our points of overlap and focus on that connection. We have to build the bridges that we can’t online. We have to communicate with all of ourselves, not just the disembodied text on a screen.
Each of us contains multitudes, shaped by our upbringing, our culture, our life experiences. We are driven by a set of beliefs these things have instilled in us. At times, these are worlds apart. We cannot mistake the sharing of different views on the internet with a shared understanding. We are often blind to things that reflect more than the shades of ourselves. Understanding comes with walking alongside each other on the long march forward for progress.
But with great social media audience comes great responsibility. A platform is a privilege that needs to be considered when speaking out. Who is it that you wish to gather around yourself? Who are you pushing out by doing so? Put your finger to the wind before taking a punt.
