There must be a special term for a person who stays up till the stupid hours to watch the Barrett brothers playing beach rugby and dropping the ball. When they should be scoring tries. I know, I know, it's rugby tragic.
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For parts of the match it was like no one else was trying much, as all three Barretts competed to see who could score, who could be next on the end of a pass, who could make the cleverest kick, who could define the game. (Answers: All of them but only some of the time, Scott, Beauden, Sonny Bill Williams, though strictly speaking he's not a Barrett at all.)
Beauden. Now you see me now you don't. He plays like he's in another, higher game: cruising, sprinting, doing all of it with more time, a bit faster, a bit more surprisingly than you thought you'd see a rugby player do. And making an astonishingly good one-on-one try-saving tackle without the aid of the touchline.
Scott, who's tough and clever and keeps up. How does he do that?
And Jordie. He's going to be a star, I reckon, one of those players who dominates a whole competition. In the next world cup. In this one it's, "Hey guys wait for me!"
There was a moment late in the second half when Beaudie chip-kicked ahead for Jordie on the halfway line and Scott went with him and the two of them galloped for the tryline while everyone else in the team just stopped to watch.
Not so much because they were being brilliant – they weren't, they didn't even score from the move – but because it was beach footy and they were having a brothers' moment so best leave them to it. I was surprised those Barretts all didn't start knuckling each other's heads and doing bear-hug wrestling.
Was 63-0 good? Of course. Was it great? It wasn't great when Scott Barrett dropped the ball instead of scoring. Or when Kieran Read butchered a scrum pushover try, although it was pretty funny when TJ Perenara burrowed in to show him how it's done. Even if he didn't manage it either.
It wasn't great when Ardie Savea spilled the ball instead of running away to score a try or when Beaudie did the same thing, only more so: he sprinted the length of the field before dropping the ball.
Except, that was kinda great, wasn't it? Canada, right at the end, looked like scoring but they didn't. In the ruck that followed Codie Taylor and Ben Smith pushed them right off the ball and it went to Beauden who – let's say it again – sprinted the length of the field! After 80 minutes of fast running rugby. You may have noticed none of his teammates did that.
Eventually, the players that arrived to help were Smith, Taylor and then Sam Whitelock. All of them subs. Beauden Barrett played the whole game before that run.
It's hard to be great when your opponents are training fodder. Rieko tried but couldn't. Ben Smith did better. The barging Atu Moli was a lot of fun and he was the only front rower to play the whole game. Richie Mo'ungawas a maestro.
But was there a genuine star not already in the number one starting line-up? Why yes there was. Brad Weber played a blinder. A busy, bustling, determined halfback with a nifty habit of just running up through the middle, he's on song.
And so is Sonny Bill. Did the glue in a backline ever show more dashing skill? He just had it all. It was Perenara who attempted the best move of the game, diving up and over a ruck to score in the corner, only his arms weren't long enough. But Sonny Bill! He had his own moment shortly after, running and jinking and powering, brought down short of the line, but reaching out to score with those special telescopic extensions he's got in his elbows. Can Sonny Bill score tries? Do Canadians play in the woods with bears?
Love that crowd. Glorious infectious enthusiasm and it's more fun than the game, sometimes. Two questions, though.
Canada had a penalty try from a scrum awarded against them, and then lost two scrum penalties in a row, so the ref threatened them with a sin binning. But after that, the Canadian scrum wasn't so bad. Did the All Blacks depower to keep them in the game? Respect.
And forget about Savea and his goggles, what about an HIA? He clashed heads so badly with an opponent, the other guy could barely walk from the field. But no one went to check on Ardie.