A teen’s journey of grief, resilience and “finally feeling heard”.

Ella was 12 when her mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.

“I didn’t really understand what cancer meant at the time,” she said. “But I could feel everything changing.”

While her parents focused on treatment, Ella and her brother did their best to carry on, hiding their own struggles to protect the family.

“We didn’t want to burden them, so we kept things to ourselves. We became emotionally distant without even realising it.”

When her mum died during her final year of high school, the Auckland teenager faced the emotional fallout mostly alone, until her grandmother referred her to Canteen Aotearoa. For 37 years the charity has supported rangatahi/young people aged 12 to 24 who are affected by cancer, whether it’s their own diagnosis or that of someone close.

“Telling someone else what I was going through made it feel more real. It was confronting. But in that first session with my counsellor at Canteen, something shifted. I finally felt heard.”

This month marks the return of Canteen’s iconic Bandanna Day campaign, encouraging Kiwis to support young people like Ella by buying and wearing a symbolic bandanna. The theme this year is Go Red for Rangatahi, with people invited to wear red, fundraise, donate, or grab a bandanna to help ensure no young person faces cancer alone.

Cancer is overwhelming for people of any age – but for rangatahi it hits when their world is still forming. It can disrupt friendships, school, mental health, and family life.

“It’s not just about treatment or getting through the diagnosis,” said Canteen Marketing Manager Gena Wright. “Cancer can isolate rangatahi from friends, routines, and the life they knew. It brings stress, fear, and loads them with responsibility beyond their years. We’re here to make sure they don’t face that alone.”

Canteen provides free counselling, peer events, therapeutic programmes, and leadership development – all designed to meet young people where they are.

“We want people to know that Canteen is here for all rangatahi impacted by cancer,” said Wright. “That includes those whose parent has cancer, are grieving a sibling, or are still carrying the weight of a diagnosis from years ago. It’s not just about cancer itself, but the ripple effect it can have on every part of life.”

Many rangatahi come to Canteen years after the medical side of cancer has ended. “We also work with those who had cancer as children and are now living with long-term emotional or physical impacts. That support shouldn’t stop when the treatment ends,” said Wright.

Ella found that support when she needed it most. “Grief doesn’t follow a straight path. Sometimes it’s exhausting. But Canteen taught me to be gentle with myself, to let go of expectations, and to honour what I was feeling,” she said.

One of the biggest differences for her was meeting others who understood what she had been through without needing her to explain.

“Being surrounded by other rangatahi who had also been impacted by cancer made me feel understood in a way I hadn’t before,” she said. “That space Canteen offered filled a void for me. I could talk about things I didn’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone else, and they just got it.”

This year’s Bandanna Day campaign includes several new ways to take part. There’s the classic bandannas, including a bold red design, a Friday the 13th-inspired “Hex and Havoc” version, and a special edition by Viva La Dirt League. They were designed with the idea of sparking conversations about the impact of cancer on young lives.

There’s also the chance to host fundraisers, wear red, or run your own Go Red event. “We know it’s a tough time financially,” said Wright. “So we’ve expanded the ways people can take part. Every small action helps.”

She said community-led events are growing again, from schools and workplaces to people baking red cupcakes or challenging their mates to go bold for a day. “It’s about giving people options. Whether you’re buying a bandanna, donating online, or just helping spread the word, it all adds up.”

Last year, Canteen supported more than 800 young people. But more than 4200 are impacted by cancer in Aotearoa each year, and the need is growing.

“We’ve definitely seen a rise in referrals,” said Wright. “And a lot of that comes from people now realising we’re not just here for those with cancer, but any rangatahi affected by cancer, such as grief and family impacts too.” What many people don’t realise is that Canteen receives no government funding.

“Our services are completely community-funded,” said Wright. “That means every bandanna sold, every fundraiser held, and every dollar donated plays a direct role in helping us be there for more rangatahi who need us.”

For Ella, the support from Canteen didn’t just help her through a hard time, it helped her rebuild confidence and direction.

“Canteen helped me discover strength in myself I didn’t even know I had,” she said. “Now I want to help others find that in themselves too.”

Ella went on to join Canteen’s youth leadership programme and is now studying social work, her way of honouring her mum and the people who stood by her. “Being part of Canteen helped me heal, but more than that, it helped me grow. I’ll always be grateful for that.”

On Friday June 13, Bandanna Day returns and Canteen is asking Kiwis to Go Red for Rangatahi. To donate, buy a bandanna, or get involved, visit canteen.org.nz. Because when cancer changes everything, Canteen helps rangatahi find their way forward – and your support makes it possible.