If your to-do list feels never-ending and the mental juggling act is constant, you’re not alone.
For many New Zealand mothers, the toughest part of running a household isn’t just the visible jobs like dishes and laundry. It’s also the unseen work of remembering every school event, managing appointments, providing emotional support for the family, and somehow keeping themselves afloat in the process.
In a new podcast episode, created in partnership with My Food Bag, broadcasters Toni Street and PJ Harding sit down with fellow mum and entrepreneur Nadia Lim. They speak openly about the mental load many women carry, as well as the small supports that can help make it a little lighter.
From “chore play” to meal-kit hacks, it’s a candid, funny and very likely familiar conversation about how modern mums are navigating the chaos – and why sometimes, the best thing you can do is let a few balls drop.
Lim, 39, is no stranger to juggling a full schedule with family. After winning the second series of MasterChef New Zealand in 2011, she built a successful career as a celebrity cook, television personality, entrepreneur and food writer. In 2013, she co-founded meal-kit delivery juggernaut My Food Bag, and in 2022, documented her ethical farming journey on the popular series, Nadia’s Farm.
“Women definitely carry a lot more of the mental load,” Lim tells Street and Harding on the podcast. “There’s all the little things – all the little admin things you have to [do] to keep the household going, to keep the kids happy with all their activities. Often the household chores seem to fall on the woman, which doesn’t seem very fair.”
Although Lim and her husband, Carlos Bagrie, have been happily married for 13 years and together for 20, she admits a bit of “chore play” never goes amiss.
“I was working yesterday and he wasn’t, and when I walked through the door, he was doing the dishes – and I said, ‘that’s very good chore play, well done,’” Lim laughs.
Harding agrees: “It’s the constant [to-do] lists, and I think I’m getting to that point where it’s like, ‘this is always going to be here’. There’s always gonna be a million and one things to do.”
To illustrate her mental load of “any given day”, Street shares the range of professional and domestic tasks on that day’s to-do list as a mother-of-three and broadcaster.
“At the top: book mammogram. Haven’t done that. Book Wellington hotel. E-mail Silver Ferns for charity netball game. E-mail Wendy about Seven Sharp. Money for protein bar fundraiser. Reschedule with Gallia, reschedule with Laura – which means I’ve cancelled something with both of those two people. Call dental nurse for Juliette [her daughter]. Get a blood test. Pay $400 for AIMS … and every day I look at them and go, ‘that could be fixed in five minutes, but I’ve got something else right now’.”
“Then it just grows and you’re like, ‘I’ll feel content when I get on top of that’. But the reality is, you just can’t,” Harding says. “And throughout all of that, we have to somehow [feed] ourselves and our family,” Street adds.
Lim’s advice? Don’t sweat the small stuff.
“My advice now, having had three kids, is … just have quite low expectations, and that way you’re never too anxious or stressed about things when things don’t go according to plan. Have low expectations, and nothing’s going to throw you too much of a curveball.”
That – and work smarter, not harder. For women juggling a lot, meal-kits can be a game-changer. With fresh, nutritious ingredients and easy-to-follow recipes delivered to their door, dinner becomes one less thing to worry about.
“It was simply trying to answer the ‘what’s for dinner’ question,” Lim says about the inspiration behind My Food Bag. “When you have to [cook] every night, it gets old, you get over it. We were like, if we can help people with this piece of life admin, wouldn’t that be great? And at the same time, ensure that their meals are going to have lots of vegetables in them, be the right portion sizes, [and] have variety.”
To lighten the load for busy families, My Food Bag offers up to five meals a week from a menu of 30+ recipes – including 15-minute meals, family favourites, gluten-free and low-carb options.
“We even use My Food Bag ourselves a few times a week, even though we grow most of our produce on our farm,” says Lim. “I still find it so useful on those extra busy nights.”
If you want to take the weeknight dinner heavy lifting off your plate, head to www.myfoodbag.co.nz. You can listen to the full Nadia, Toni and PJpodcast episode here: