Sideswipe: January 23: Don't chicken out

Life with kids is sometimes weird ...

1.

"The best thing about babies is they have no idea what's going on. I was holding my baby and trying to eat but I dropped a little piece of lasagne on her and didn't have a free hand to wipe it off so I just leaned over and ate it off her head. She has no clue what I did."

2. None of the parenting books tell you that your 2-year-old will name her feet Tommy (R) and Omar (L), yet here we are.

3. There is little difference between how a horse eats hay and the way my children consume spaghetti.

4. Apparently I pack an apple in my 5-year-old's lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.

5. I asked my 5-year-old to spit out his gum before bed. He said it wasn't gum. "What is it?"… "Toenails!"…Goodnight folks. Sleep well.

Jail for pyramid climb

An influencer says he spent five days in an Egyptian jail after climbing one of the Pyramids of Giza. Sharing a photograph of himself on top of a pyramid, Vitaly Zdorovetskiy, who has 3.1 million followers on Instagram, said: "No words can explain what I just went through the past five days. I've been in jail many times but this one was by far the very worst. Was it worth it? Yeah!"

Sleeping variations

There is much variation in our sleeping positions as this chart posted on Twitter suggests. They all seem quite reasonable — until you take a closer look: "No.10 is a homicide victim. #7 looks like Billie Jean is not my lover… And #13? What's going on here? Has anybody over the age of 18 months ever slept like that?"

Liver to tell the tale

In 2017, liver, spleen and pancreas surgeon Simon Bramhall used an argon beam, which stops livers bleeding during operations and highlights parts of a patient to be worked on, to sign his initials on a patient's organs. A colleague saw "SB" on a liver during follow-up surgery. The marks aren't believed to be harmful to the liver but Bramhall pleaded guilty to assault.