Sideswipe: December 26: Confession is not therapy

Scrooges I have known

More definitions of a tightwad ... (which is, of course, very different from being skint or in a tight spot money-wise)

1. I was just about over a very bad case of tonsillitis and glandular fever. I asked my boyfriend at the time to get me something nice from the shop as he was going anyway. He came back with a child's size Milky Bar, left the receipt on the counter and said, "You can pay me back for that once you're feeling 100 per cent." It was 50c. It was literally 11 years ago and I'm still raging.

2. Had a boss who threw a few tantrums because people were drinking too much milk and staff were only allowed one cup of tea a day — the rest of the milk was for her, the "directors" and obviously clients.

3. For my birthday a few years ago my dad sent me an opened, -full miniature bottle of Baileys. I don't think you can even buy them singly so either it came out of a multipack or a hotel minibar.

4. A wealthy friend invited a small group of girlfriends to spend the weekend in their new holiday/retirement home in a very nice part of the south coast. The night before we arrived she sent us a copy of the online shopping bill to divvy up between us. This included a pack of 48 loo rolls, a bag of 78 dishwasher tablets and various cleaning items and toiletries. She had basically done a family "big shop" and asked her guests to pay for it.

5. My own brother nearly got divorced because he wouldn't buy a new kettle and insisted they boil water in a pan for two months. Mum and dad ended up intervening on that one.

Alcohol substitute

Strange but true

1. In 2017, a soap dispenser designed by British company Technical Concepts went viral after the sensor failed to register a black hand, yet worked perfectly for a white one — "the racist soap dispenser", it was dubbed.

2. In 2012, a self-employed child-minder in France received a phone bill for €11.7 million billion ($19.57 million billion), more than 5000 times the gross national product of France. The phone company initially suggested that she pay it in instalments, but later admitted it was an error. Her actual bill was €117.21.

3. Drinking alcohol with a diet mixer gets you 18 per cent more drunk than regular mixer.