The New Year's Honours hoo-ha is a doozy, isn't it?
It's a perfect storm, where a news lull meets our hope for a picture-perfect world painted in the 1950s, with no questions asked.
New Year euphoria is a time to wish each other all the best, remember how lucky we are, and make up a bit of stuff about why this country is so great.
In other words, you could probably give a knighthood to an All Blacks bus driver and get away with it. Indeed, there are so many rugby knights floating about these days that they'll need a big round table to accommodate them all soon.
And our sporting knights and dames are free to walk in this land, without having to trip over rogue honorees like a Sir Stephen Kearney (kids, he's an un-knighted Kiwis league coach who won a World Cup).
• Chris Rattue: Horrible All Black tumble a great day for rugby
• Chris Rattue: Sporting predictions for 2020
• Chris Rattue: It's time for the All Blacks to drop the haka in the name of winning
• Chris Rattue: The All Black rifts which led to Steve Hansen's silent treatment call
New Zealand has a changing sports landscape but rugby refuses to lie down, putting more and more distance between itself and the chasing pack.
Sir Steve Hansen is the latest to help grow the rugby group. If everything goes to plan, there may – one day – be a Sir Ian Foster walking amongst us. And then a Sir John Plumtree. And then a Sir Brad Mooar. Oops, I may have missed Sir Scott McLeod. Or if this plan doesn't work, what about Sir Warren Gatland?
But not everyone gets the highest of honours, or could even dream of getting one, even from rugby's upper echelons.
Rattue: NZ's most underestimated sportspeople of the decade
'Dishing the dirt' - what on earth did Steve Hansen really mean?
And on this very subject, I'd like to suggest that handing out an Order of Merit to characters like Steve Tew offers hope to anyone who aspires to be honoured thus.
The just-departed New Zealand Rugby chief executive is, in many ways, just an average Kiwi.
Tew works very hard, like many New Zealanders.
Like most of us, he was probably not much chop at actually playing rugby. But there's no shame in that. Rugby is a very difficult game to play well. Look at Australia. There are about 24 million people over there and at this current point in time there are just four Australians who can play rugby very well.
No, like most of us, Tewie had to earn a crust off the field.
And like many other Kiwis, Steve Tew has had his good days and his bad ones. His long career in charge of New Zealand Rugby has been one of those crazy rollercoaster rides, of wonderful success and other stuff. Just like life itself.
This is how it must feel to Steve Tew (I'm imagining on his behalf).
One day you are winning the World Cup, twice, the next day that smartarse Eddie Jones is making your precious All Blacks look really stupid.
One day you are saluting Eden Park for your grand tournament, the next day Eden Park is a crumbling mess costing Auckland millions.
One day you have the most glorious provincial competition in the world. The next day it's hardly worth turning the pie warmer on.
One minute rugby is cock-a-hoop. Next minute, more kids are playing basketball than rugby.
One day you have Richie McCaw on a path towards sainthood. The next day you've got Aaron Smith repurposing an airport disabled toilet.
Isn't it crazy how life goes?
Like one day you have got all these All Blacks kissing home soil. And the next day they are all p****** off.
One day you try to tell World Rugby how it should operate, and the next day an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman turn it into a joke.
And one day you have this vibrant Super Rugby competition, and the next day (you fill in the many gaps).
And then you decide to give women rugby players little contracts, and the next minute they are helping save yours.
Yes, life is a mystery wrapped up in a riddle and cloaked in irony. It just ain't black and white.
But the gong system is having none of that.