Let's assume you're not streaming House of Cards, but are, instead, addicted to the double-screen reality of real-time social media commentary on reality television. That means commercial breaks. Two-minutes-thirty-seconds-and-counting to refill your wine, soothe your sweet tooth and maintain relevance on Twitter.

The truly organised will have pre-purchased. Chocolate has been popular since its appearance on an early episode of My Kitchen Rules Mesoamerica, but you can do better.

Grab your Google and type: "Best Microwave Mug Cake". Then find that hilarious over-sized mug you got from your Secret Santa. (It's in the back of the kitchen cupboard with the garlic crusher and the pasta machine). Fill that mug with 4TB self-raising flour, 2TB of sugar and 2TB cocoa. Add an egg and beat everything with a fork. Add 3TB milk, 3TB vegetable oil and a splash of vanilla essence. Mix well. Microwave on high for three minutes.

Some people add a tablespoon of chocolate chips or nuts or raisins, but time is of the essence. If you work fast, you and your inappropriately-sloganed mega mug of chocolatey goodness will make it back to Survivor NZ before the paint dries on the merged tribe walls.

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