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Opinion
Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe: June 17: Need a sculpture?

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
16 Jun, 2013 05:30 PM3 mins to read
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This mutton is in need of a new owner.

This mutton is in need of a new owner.

In need of an impressive lounge sculpture? A Trade Me listing reads: "Baa-bara has had an interesting life, being made by Feltex carpets for Te Papa ... her sheepskin coat is showing some wear now, and she has lost an ear and has a wonky leg. She is definitely a mutton and not a lamb anymore! Still a loveable icon with or without repairs, she is ready for greener pastures.

Sign of the times

A reader writes: "I have an 8-year-old son who is very into gaming and computers. The other day he asked me, "What does BC mean? I think I know but want to check". So I asked him what he thought it meant. He replied "Before Computers?"

Sweet cover-up

When David Thompson was at primary school in the 1930s his sister, who was 10 years older, came home from an outing with her boyfriend who had given her a large bar of chocolate. "It was left sitting on the kitchen bench and when she went off to work the next day my brother and I found a piece of wood the right size, carefully removed and ate the chocolate and rewrapped the goodie, silver paper and all. She assumed that what she had received was for a window display."

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Outstanding mistakes

1. A US tattooist angered three members of an all-girl chapter of Hell's Angels when he tattooed Stan's Slaves on their breasts rather than Satan's Slaves.

2. A man's self-defence in a New York court suffered slightly after he asked the key witness: "Did you get a good look at my face when I snatched your bag?"

3. The popularity of spinach as a health food, which resulted in Popeye the Sailor Man and generations of children staring miserably at a plate bearing the product, resulted from a misplaced decimal point in calculations of the amount of iron in it. (via BCC's Magazine Monitor)

Watch those tasters

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McKay writes: "I've seen people try tasting things like grapes or nuts at the supermarket, but this lady took it to a whole new level. I saw her open a 1.5-litre ginger ale, put it to her lips and take a long sip. She then nodded in satisfaction, put it into her basket and walked off. I'd hate to think what would have happened if she decided she didn't like it. My advice, check the seal first."

Solution close at hand

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Brian can better the missing phone story. "I once took a call about an upcoming appointment," he writes. "My calendar is on my iPhone but that wasn't on my desk. I searched the entire house while apologising to the caller, until I realised where the iPhone was. I was talking on it."

Picture this: Modern Problems Even Superman Can't Defeat...

Picture this: Silly wedding photos...

Good (short) read: Why you should care about surveillance...

Video: You may remember an alternative British commentary of the Olympic sailing (which was swiftly taken down by humourless copyright holders) well here a British commentary of an all American game of baseball...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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