A victim of recently-sentenced Masterton sex offender Wayne John McNicholl has revealed his struggle to overcome the impact of the abuse and confront his past.
The man, who can not be named for legal reasons, was just seven years old when he was first abused by McNicholl in the late 1970s.
In September, McNicholl was sentenced to nine months' home detention after being found guilty of committing six counts of indecency from 1978 to 1984 with two boys under 16.
Now in his 40s and living overseas, the man said having children of his own had forced him to face the past and tell his family and police what had happened.
"What he did has affected me for over 30 years - since I was a small child.
"To begin with, I just wanted to forget about it. I buried what happened. And then having my own children continuously brought it all back to me. I knew I had to do something about it because I needed to confront what had happened. As an adult, I realised how wrong it was."
At the time of the offending McNicholl, then in his 20s, had been an employee and trusted friend at the Wairarapa farm where the victim and his brother lived.
The abuse had gone on to affect the rest of his life, the man said.
"Before the abuse, I was a clever kid and did well at school. Afterwards, I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, trying to seek attention and I stopped working hard at school.
During my teenage years, I felt humiliated by what had happened and I tried to block it out. I was shy about being naked in front of the other boys at school and I became very private about getting changed.
"Even now, I feel uncomfortable going to the toilet in a urinal if there are other men around."
Although he had been prepared for it, he was disappointed McNicholl, who is now 62, did not get a jail sentence.
"I was mentally prepared for the fact he wouldn't necessarily get a long sentence because the crimes happened a long time ago and sentencing lengths were different then and people have to be sentenced in accordance with what sentencing lengths were like at the time . . . But I do feel relieved that Wayne has finally been brought to justice, I have been listened to and, most importantly, I was believed.
"Going through the process has helped me to get some closure."
Giving evidence in front of the court, and McNicholl himself, had been a difficult experience but he said he hoped it would encourage others who had suffered similar experiences to speak out.
"I hope Wayne's conviction will encourage other people who have been victims of similar crimes to come forward. It has unlocked a lot of bad memories and emotions - and given me a lot of mental strength to continue on with my life."