Tommy Murray had only recently taken a mataora (full facial tāmoko). Photo / supplied
Tommy Murray had only recently taken a mataora (full facial tāmoko). Photo / supplied
The family of a man who was taken to Northland for burial against his wife's wishes say it would have been inappropriate to cremate a man who had just received a full-face tāmoko.
Thomas Henry Tapiki Murray, known as Tommy, was buried at remote Whangapē in North Hokianga earlier thisweek after whānau members took his coffin — by force, his widow Sara Murray said — from their home in Naenae, Wellington.
He died suddenly on May 31, aged 54, at a boxing gym. He is believed to have had a heart condition.
Sara Murray said her husband wished to be cremated and to stay with her and vowed legal action to bring him back.
However, Hilda Halkyard-Harawira, speaking on behalf of the Murray whānau, said that was not what he had told them.
"No disrespect intended, but Tommy had told his whānau he wished to be buried in Whangapē. His mother, siblings and two daughters returned Tommy to Rangitoto urupā near his father, grandparents and whanaunga. It felt right. Kua tau te wairua (the soul is calm)," she said.
Halkyard-Harawira said Tommy Murray had only recently taken a mataora (full facial tāmoko), which had huge significance for a person's mana.
"His whānau — his mum, sisters, brother and children — felt it was inappropriate for Tommy to be cremated. Kaumātua and kuia will always advise to bring the tūpāpaku (body) home to their hau kāinga (home), as the surviving spouse, despite their protestations, will likely remarry."
The whānau thanked Naenae and Te Kotahitanga Marae at Whangapē for their manākitanga (care) of Tommy Murray in his final resting moments, and — when the time was right — invited Sara Murray and her children, Ashanti and Tahnika Needham, to visit their husband and stepfather's grave.
"He uri nō Taranaki me Te Rarawa, e moe te moenga roa e Tommy (descendant of Taranaki and Te Rarawa, rest in peace)," Halkyard-Harawira said.
Tommy Murray's tūpāpaku (body) was taken to Te Kotahitanga Marae at Whangapē. Photo / supplied
Earlier, Sara Murray told RNZ they had married in 2008.
They had spoken about what he wanted after his death and he was clear he wanted to be cremated and remain close to her in Wellington.
He had been lying at their home in Naenae prior to cremation when some of his whānau arrived about 8.30pm on Sunday saying they were taking him home to Whangapē for burial.
A spokesperson for Sara Murray, who did not want to be named, said if being taken back to the North was what her husband wanted, she would have supported that.
Witnesses told RNZ a confrontation ensued in which teenagers trying to stop the tūpāpaku from being taken were injured.
Holes were left in the wall and the coffin lid was taken separately without the keys to secure it, they said.
Police were called and arrived shortly after the tūpāpaku was removed.
A police spokesperson said officers spoke with both sides of the family in an attempt to have them reach an agreement.
That was unsuccessful and the body was later transported north by whānau members.
"The officers attending sought advice and it was determined that in this instance, police were not able to retrieve the body," the spokesperson said.
Sara Murray said she would take legal action to bring her husband back to Wellington.
Former MP Shane Jones, who is well versed in tikanga Māori (Māori customs), said Tommy Murray's punarua, or current partner, had sadly come off second best against his biological whānau.
"This is not a rare occurrence in Māoridom. It's really important if you are a Pākehā with a Māori partner, especially if you're not comfortable in Māori culture, don't wait until the grim reaper arrives. Have these discussions early because tangihanga lead to passion, temper and a lot of sadness. This only worsens the situation."
The whānau who took the tūpāpaku loved their marae and were deeply rooted in their culture, Jones said.
"They're not doing something that hasn't been done before, though there may have been a better way to do it."
RNZ reported Tommy Murray admitted to a chequered past and had been deported to New Zealand from Australia some years ago.
He was, however, focused on bettering himself and reconnecting with his taha Māori (Māori side). Receiving a full facial tāmoko was part of that journey.
