When to tell your boss about your personal problems

Break-ups, health issues and deaths in the family suck. But as hard as they can be, everyone's personal lives go a bit skew-whiff sometimes. And unless we're exceptionally good at compartmentalising our lives, it's normal that what's going on at home could impact what's supposed to be going on at work.

So, should you tell your boss what's happening in your personal life? Julie Thomas from The Career Development Company says maybe … and maybe not.

"If you're experiencing personal problems, there are two questions you could ask yourself before going to your boss," she says. "Are your personal problems impacting your ability to perform in your role? And do you need additional support to resolve your personal problems?

"If you answer 'yes' to either of these questions, you might want to consider talking to your boss."

Is It Impacting Your Work?

If your private life is impacting your professional performance, your boss might assume you're just slacking if they don't understand what's going on at home. If you don't want to go into specifics, just admitting to your boss that you know you've been a bit 'off' lately could go a long way.

If your situation is health-related or your need a more flexible working arrangement so you can get to appointments during the day, you'll need to go into a bit more detail with your boss or HR department.

What Do You Need?

A lighter workload or a few days off could help, so you'll need to at least tell your boss the basics. "Before talking to your boss, read any policies or guidelines the business might have around support for staff health and wellbeing," says Thomas. "You might want to check what leave you have available as well. If there's someone responsible for HR in your organisation, consider talking to them too."

If the solution relies on you to change your attitude or have a different perspective on life, the responsibility lies with you. If you still need to get it off your chest, talk to a trusted friend over a glass of wine instead.

What's Your Boss Like?

If you have a great relationship with your boss and trust them to keep your private life exactly that, casually chatting to them about what's going on could be a good idea. If they have a reputation of not being sensitive or sympathetic, a chat with HR might be better. Keep in mind that if you don't know anything about your boss' private life, they might not be interested in yours either.

What Should You Share?

If you decide you need to talk to someone at work, you don't have to go into specifics unless you really want to. Simply telling them you've got some stuff going on and need a bit of flexibility at the office will hopefully be enough. Any more than that will depend on your relationship with your boss.