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Fast enough to scare your missus, massive windows to pass buckets of KFC through and one with a boot big enough to fit a least one grown person... not really the usual specs you’d ask for at a car yard.
But at Portage Cars - perhaps New Zealand’s funniest car yard - that’s exactly what they offer.
The Auckland dealer has gone viral on the likes of TikTok and Instagram in recent months after they scrapped their traditional marketing strategy in favour of snappy, “brutally honest” videos presented by hilarious Kiwi content creator Kiedis Haze.
“It’s all about making it fun and friendly,” Haze told Focus.
“Car dealers have this horrible reputation of always telling lies to the customer but in our videos, it’s clear I’m not lying… even if it’s not the greatest car in the world. Keeping it honest and authentic has seen the videos get a lot of respect.”
Haze was brought onto the Portage Cars team to produce weekly content earlier this year after salesperson Georgia Clark said their advertising was going nowhere.
“Kiedis blew up on social media and we had seen his videos so we contacted him and said ‘please come and help us!’” Clark said.
“Not many car yards do videos, but they get views, it’s easy, it’s a lot more interactive than people just looking at pictures of cars online.
“It’s a lot more fun and engaging and the public love it.”
As for who comes up with the golden one-liners, Haze said he scripts most of the content himself - admitting it’s not always easy - but will often call on the advice of Clark too.
“Georgia is good because I don’t want to cross a line and because I’m a bloke and I’m dumb I don’t know all the barriers so she’s been great as well as the rest of the team,” Haze said.
“I rely a bit on my own team too to come up with one-liners as we’re spitting them out left right and centre but it’s mostly natural Kiwi humour.”