Vote 2017: Doing the hard yards

Who will come out on top? Illustration / Rod Emmerson

Andrew Alderson usually rates sport stars. Today he uses his talents to politicians.

Bill English: 7/10

National
"People can't go shopping with your values" was a shuddering debate tackle on Ardern, and he served up a solid 10-person-rugby platform which gained traction -rather than running out of fuel - as the campaign advanced.
Social conservatism sometimes constrained him to a point where he kicked to touch too often by relying on the country's economic stability. Loose forward Steven Joyce's knock-on regarding the supposed $11.6 billion "hole" in Labour's fiscal policy saw them lose territory, before counter-attacking with the "let's tax this" parody on the opposition's election slogan.
Needed reminding of Fred Dagg's advice in the pseudo-national anthem We Don't Know How Lucky We Are: "If things get appallingly bad, and we're all under constant attack, remember we want to see good clean ball, and for God's sake feed your backs."

Jacinda Ardern: 9/10

Labour
One of the best performances off the bench in a New Zealand election. Victor Hugo once wrote "nothing is as powerful as an idea whose time has come", but did Labour's policies really change that much post-Andrew Little when they were on the wrong side of the public ruck? No, but Jacinda-Nick-Of-Time brought a level empathy, complete with muffins and selfies, which cut through voters' defences and took Labour across the advantage line. She even made a capital gains tax start to sound tolerable, momentarily, for Middle New Zealand.
Ardern was penalised for a lack of policy detail by vowing to send everything to committee. National pounced on her hesitancy.
Still, what a half-time team talk.

Winston Peters: 7/10

New Zealand First
Another tenacious 80 minutes from the 72-year-old Northland MP. An anonymous ref blew the whistle on his superannuation overpayments but, when it went upstairs, the public TMO ruled in Peters' favour. The veteran took a quick tap and sidestepped. He gained a few metres of political capital, but could've made more if he'd entered the televised minor parties' debate. Regardless, that failed to generate discontent among his quiet grandstand faithful who wielded their gold placards. They prefer to register their support in the voting booth.

James Shaw: 5/10

Greens
Forced to play the majority election out of his own 22 after the candidate-formerly-known-as-Greens-co-leader Metiria Turei threw an early hospital pass that she had knowingly committed benefit fraud. Her delivery initially looked like it might open up space down the left flank, but the covering defence swooped to the breakdown. After Turei was rested and rotated, Shaw's recycled rhetoric about clean rivers and getting more people onto buses and trains struggled to boost the party's carbon footprint in the polls.

Te Ururoa Flavell/Marama Fox: 7/10

Maori Party
Flavell can be gregarious, but tended to work in the tight; Fox provided the flair of a pivot who passes, kicks or runs on instinct. Her pink nail polish double-bird flip in a leaders' debate left a memorable campaign image. Frivolity aside, the Maori party was expected to put points on the parliamentary board. They couldn't convert, despite voters being left in no doubt about both leaders' passion for tangata whenua issues such as Whanau Ora, Te Reo and Te Tiriti o Waitangi.

David Seymour: 7/10

ACT
One of the election's best sledgers, he slotted regular soundbites between the posts of public perception when opportunities arose from set piece or broken play in debates. Take his response to a Herald on Sunday question whether Prime Ministers should be allowed in the All Blacks changing room? "Only if their Super Rugby form warrants it". Has a grasp of the ACT manifesto akin to Beauden Barrett's understanding of All Black backline moves, but theoretical knowledge doesn't always translate to practical application for Kiwis outside Epsom.

Peter Dunne; 4/10

United Future
When the scoreboard in Ohariu looked bleak he retired from the field after 33 years as an electorate MP.
Talked an arsenal of common sense, but struggled among the bigger red and blue packs in the middle of the political field.
His electorate prowess meant he was always in the thinking of the government selectors when coalitions loomed.
Damian Light was brought off the bench in the late stanzas. He put in an affable performance, reminiscent of his predecessor.

Hone Harawira: 4/10

Mana Movement
The one-time firebrand struggled for space to play his natural game in a congested field. In such unfamiliar territory, he played for a draw with Te Tai Tokerau foe Kelvin Davis by using two-for-one rhetoric because of his Labour opponent's high spot on the list.
Showed glimpses of his past enforcer streak with plain speaking which included a stance that synthetic cannabis dealers "need to be put up against the wall and shot" after losing a nephew to the drug.

Gareth Morgan: 4/10

The Opportunities Party
Establishing your own party takes significant resolve and resources but the studs on Morgan's boots were too short to get traction. Attempts to shunt upfield were muffled inside a blue and red rolling maul that sucked up the oxygen of the election conversation.
Such pressure resulted in a yellow card moment when he challenged Ardern to "show she's more than lipstick on a pig" in relation to Labour's mid-campaign leader switch. The gender-sensitive analogy was dubious, and the public booed.