Former All Black captain Tana Umaga felt such shame after he struck his Hurricanes teammate with a handbag that he offered to give up his Queen's Birthday honour.
Umaga broke his silence about the early-morning fracas in a Christchurch bar while addressing a Trans-Tasman Business Circle function in Auckland yesterday.
He said he had asked the organisers of the Queen's Birthday honours if they wanted to rescind the Officer of the Order of New Zealand that he was awarded this week.
"After what happened in Christchurch, being given this award for the Queen's Birthday, I couldn't believe it and I did ask: 'Do you want to change your mind?'
"I'm a great believer in not letting people down, or letting down your position and they said to me, 'Don't worry, no problems, you're not the worst one'."
The humble leader had whacked his teammate Chris Masoe to subdue him after Masoe punched a member of the public.
The New Zealand Rugby Football Union fined Masoe $3000 and found Umaga had no case to answer.
The handbag has since been auctioned for $22,500, prompting Umaga to joke about having a golden touch.
"If I can touch something and use it, and [it's then worth] $22,500 - jeez, can I take this home?" he said, gesturing to a bottle of champagne on the table next to him.
"I do believe I let myself down a little bit two weeks ago, but hey, things happen and you learn lessons."
