Paula Bennett: To decide or not to decide, or to decide not to . . .

It usually starts with a list ... perhaps it shouldn't. Photo / Nora Sahinun

I am not so good at making New Year’s resolutions. I like self-improvement and try and work on something each year but usually take January to think about it, so it’s not a New Year thing.

When I was a senior minister I made a commitment to myself that I would try my best to be on time. Always busy, I always seemed to be running late. I didn’t like that I was holding other people up and it seemed disrespectful, like I thought my time was more important than theirs.

So for 12 months, it became my mantra. I became conscious of it and changed a habit. I learned a good trick was when you say goodbye after attending something, leave straight away. How many times do we say goodbye and then start a new conversation? Time gets away on us and we are late.

For the following year, I thought I was getting a bit impatient. So I decided I would be patient and listen more. I literally wrote BPLM on my mirror so that each morning I would remember.

Late January I missed my flight, the first time that I could remember and it was no one else’s fault. Seems the previous year’s mantra to be on time had not formed a lasting habit, but fortunately, I was learning patience so I was pleasant about it at the airport.

One year I gave myself permission to cry. A bit weird I know. But I had put up protective walls and thought I was getting a bit stoic. A cry in private and even the odd tear in public if it’s for a good reason is not something to be ashamed of. It means you give a damn.

The year after I left Parliament I decided that I would put me and my family first. Too often I had missed significant family events. My own health had suffered because I hadn’t looked after me. I have formed a habit on this one.

I love to work and do my best to juggle everything and do my job well. But I also take time for my family and for me. Guess I am lucky that I work for a company like Bayleys that values family.

I have also formed a habit of not living my life through social media. Last year I was finding it quite boring. It’s not often someone posts something that is that interesting or surprising. A good way to see photos of the kids’ activities but that’s about it.

Maybe this year instead of deciding to do something, I should decide not to something. My bloke would like me to stop writing lists. More specifically he would like me to stop writing him lists. Unlikely.

I don’t think I will ask him what else he thinks I should stop doing. I like being married and his answer might put that in jeopardy, especially if I answered in kind. Some things are best left unsaid. He would probably like me to stop writing about him in my columns. Unlikely.

Seems I am going to have to take January to think about it