Steve Braunias: The Secret Horoscope - Your stars for 2023 (part two)

What will 2023 bring for your star sign?

OPINION

CANCER (June 22-July 23)

If you love someone, you should accept everything and everyone that the person loves. Property-related decisions will bring you favourable results. Keep up with the Joneses even if it kills you. Downsize your footprint. To vote blue and act green won’t do any harm to your capacity to get rich. Eat nuts; they’re good for your sinuses.

LEO (July 24-August 22)

Second thoughts aren’t good enough; third thoughts are where it’s at. You’ll be amazed at the results. Romance comes calling. Pick up, and move fast. There is no speeding ticket on the highway of love. The benchmark of solid work relationships isn’t getting your own way all the time. Compromise now and then, and make a big deal about it. See your family doctor, and bathe often.

VIRGO (August 23-September 22)

Take a deep breath and remember the Chinese proverb, “Nì lái shùn shòu: When adversity comes, receive it favourably.” 2023 is all about the old every-crisis-is-an-opportunity paradigm. The bigger the crisis, the greater the potential to learn from your really hideous mistakes. Use “I” statements like “I want you to get out of my face” instead of beating about the bush. You’ll feel better once you’ve said your piece. Go home – to your essential values, and the principles you swore to uphold.

LIBRA (September 23-October 23)

What’s done cannot be undone. Accept that you’re absolutely amazing. Set your sights on a more prosperous you. Success and passion are two sides of the same coin; flip it, and it will only ever land sunny-side-up. Defend the weak. You’re really great at looking after hapless losers and bringing them joy. Shop for bargains, and dress to undress.

SCORPIO (October 24-November 22)

Make your Sunday night ritual an Epsom salts bath – no magazines, no music, just your thoughts – while burning either a Jo Malone London candle or a Tom Ford Private Blend candle. Afterwards, lie on a Shakti mat (a mat with acupressure points) with either an Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair Powerfoil mask or the Clinique Moisture Surge overnight mask. It will allow your inner sociopath to prosper. In the absence of talent, work on malice.

SAGITTARIUS (November 23-December 22)

Academia is a dead-end. Free the body and the mind will follow orders. Be careful about mixing money and love. Things can go south, fast. Monotony is a friend. The three R’s are repetition, repetition, repetition. Winners are made through habit. Happy new year!