That Guy: You can blame female of the species for sarcasm

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Opinion

A research team near Huntly believe they have made a major scientific breakthrough by identifying and isolating the gene that creates sarcasm.

But others in the scientific community were quick to dispute the claims with comments such as, "yeah right, good one", clearly believing that it was far too early to make such bold claims.

Led by Dr Marty Webb, scientists at Webb Laboratories have long suspected a gene for sarcasm but until now have been unable to isolate it - because it was dangerously close to the genes for procrastination, infidelity and lactose intolerance.

While many scientists are working on grander research, such as finding cures for cancer, Webb says it is important to map the genetic codes for the things that play a part in everyday life as well.

"We may not all be subjected to cancer in our lifetime but we will certainly all experience sarcasm, sometimes daily."

Levels of sarcasm range from the over-used but mildly amusing form we often see in sitcoms such as Friends, but extreme sarcasm has been known to damage people emotionally, even leading to marriage break-ups and wars.

Webb's study involved more than 200 volunteers whose friends or associates had said they were annoyingly sarcastic.

They were monitored for six months to ensure they did indeed have the gene for sarcasm.

"It is important to work with someone who is truly sarcastic as opposed to just stupid or suffering from some other affliction. Male subjects were made to walk past somebody who had their testicles in a vice. Nearly all quipped, 'Hey man, that looks fun' - a standard sarcastic reaction. We had to be sure that the subject didn't just have the gene for stupidity, sado-masochism or both."

Once people suffering from sarcasm were identified, they had fluid pumped from their spines and the genetic material put in a blender before being further analysed.

Scientists wanted to know whether sarcasm was hereditary.

"We wanted to look at sarcasm in the context of the classic 'nature versus nurture' argument. If sarcasm is hereditary, does it come from our mother's side or from our father's?

"If we are exposed repeatedly to it, are we more likely to become sarcastic? Or is it merely a case of monkey see and monkey do? This last question led to a $10 million study to identify whether monkeys also have the gene for sarcasm."

Much of monkeys' behaviour seems to be centred around mockery, taunting and pulling faces, the crudest form of sarcasm which can often be observed in humans.

Webb has concluded that the gene for sarcasm - like male pattern baldness, colour blindness, and nagging - is always carried on our mother's side.

Woman can express the gene but are more likely to just be carriers, much like some sexually transmitted diseases. Webb believes that the expression of the gene is more prevalent in men and this is why there aren't many good female stand-up comedians.

Scientists were also eager to learn when the sarcasm gene became part of our genetic make-up. Experts suspect the context in which sarcasm was used probably would have related to fire, as that was when homosapiens began to converse in a more complex manner.

Caveman 1: Hey, that fire took you ages to light. Is it hot?

Caveman 2: No, it's really cold.

Caveman 1 (putting hand into the fire): Ouch, I thought you said it wasn't hot?

Caveman 2: Sorry, I said the opposite to what I meant because you were annoying me, and because you slept with and then ate my wife.

Caveman: 1: Well that's the lowest form of wit, you're a real funny guy, you know that?

And so it began.