That Guy: Apologies for others not picking up my mistakes

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Opinion

Today is a day to clear up some admin.

Firstly I would like to apologise for last week's column, in which I copied/plagiarised Deborah Coddington's column word for word.

This was unprofessional for a journalist of my stature.

I did this knowingly but to be honest I didn't actually realise her column was going to be directly above mine - which made it all a little obvious.

I take full responsibility for the plagiarism but I think other members of the staff need to look at themselves and shoulder 0some of the responsibility. The tight deadlines have put me under huge pressure over the past few months, and I also believe if the editing staff communicated with me a little more and told me which pages other people's columns were going to be on, the plagiarism may not have been detected so quickly.

The editor has told me he is prepared to move forward on this providing I apologise to the readers and to Coddington in person - a phone call probably won't suffice.

I have also offered to do odd jobs around her house and have sent her a bottle of wine. I think she can be flattered to a degree that I chose to plagiarise her instead of, say, Matt McCarten.

The editor has also insisted that I write 'I must not copy other writers' work' 20 times, so this is what I have done below.

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I must not copy other writers' work

I would like to think that we can now put this matter to rest and move on with more pressing matters - such as this week's column.

Well, you are not going to believe it but this week I have been struck down by an incredibly powerful dose of manflu.

This has made writing, eating, drinking, sleeping and even breathing difficult. My attending physician tells me that the particular strain of manflu which has struck me down is more painful than a 46-hour labour for a woman.

Women may protest and say 'how do you know that if you have never had a baby?' But I would respond with 'how do you know if you have never had manflu!'

You will be pleased to hear that I am through the worst of it now and the light I can now see at the end of the tunnel is not the one I saw a couple of days ago luring me into the afterlife.

Have to run as I am meeting a mate down at the pub for a couple of beers.

Editor's note: Leigh, that is 18 lines, not 20. And you have not met your deadlines for far more than a few months.