Teen lads need role models

Without positive male role models, corruption can occur in teenage boys. PHOTO/ PHIL BRAZIER PHOTOGRAPHY

FOR hopefully a short time, Featherston has been the centre of attention for national media, regarding the deaths of the Featherston teenagers after a car chase in Masterton.

While national media focus on the crime and put on a rather lightly-done-over TV piece on Featherston and its issues, Featherston itself is wondering where to go from here.

An angry caller to me yesterday has raised the distinction that despite the catalogue of troubles one of the dead youths had caused, in the end these were still children, boys barely capable of sound and sensible thought beyond the "moment", the call to action, the aggression and the adrenaline.

The caller, who had managed to steer her own wayward son into a good man, said she only managed it through positive role models. In other words, solid, dependable men. Without positive male role models, corruption can occur in teenage boys. Mothers are amazing, and my two stepsons survived pretty well without my presence for much of their lives, but boys really do want to be cool and staunch, take no crap from anybody, and have the trappings that go with it, and in doing so, they are copying some male role model because that is how we work. The trouble is, the role model they could be copying could be fictional, out of a computer game, or a criminal.

Boys can derail without good role models. I don't think teenage boys are especially aspirational. The immediacy of the situation, and the gains to be made are usually the focus. There is nothing wrong with wanting rewards, or wanting to be cool.

Wanting to be a man is positive behaviour for boys. It is biologically healthy. What needs to be put in front of boys are positive demonstrations of what being a man is about. That could involve stereotypes, including being a capable earner, a respecter of women, likes larking around a bit, handy with tools, good with rugby. Not very politically correct, but they are all positive and all true. The worst thing a male can demonstrate to a teenager is anger. Because that suggests it's okay for a man to be angry all the time. And when you're a teenager, you can lack the means to handle it.