KEY POINTS:
At the end of last year, I was in a bad way career-wise," says Hilary, an Auckland accountant who doesn't want her full name known.
"The previous year I had decided to go corporate. I was made one of those offers that are difficult to refuse - the
money was really good.
"Well, it was a terrible year for me. I found I had difficulty fitting into the culture of the place, I was angry all the time, didn't seem to be able to get on with people and, yes, my work suffered."
Hilary says she ended the year feeling dispirited. "I had had such high hopes for my career - and now I felt I was at a dead end. I dreaded going back after the Christmas break as I also half-expected to get the pink slip some time soon.
"This is when I decided to take some action - to really look at my life and at my work. Was the place just a wrong fit for me or could I change my attitude towards it - focus on what was good and deal with what was not?"
Hilary says she had read the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron years before. In the book, Cameron suggests people write three foolscap pages as soon as they wake up in the morning - morning pages. They are to write anything that comes to mind.
"The idea is to get rid of the rubbish before you start your day. I used morning pages that Christmas holiday to reflect on the year.
"What could I have done differently to fit in? Why had I taken the job in the first place? What had I learned? And mostly: Did I want to stay in the same working environment and do it better or did I need to move out and go back to working with smaller companies?"
Hilary said it wasn't only the morning pages that helped. "I went up to the Bay of Islands that year to stay with friends in Paihia. We did lots of fun things - some of them very touristy. But all the time I was doing things, I was doing some serious inner work.
"I reflected on my job, on the relationships I had with colleagues and bosses - all the stuff that was worrying me. The good thing was I was with friends and I was relaxed so I could look at these things in a relaxed way. I was removed from the situation, so I could look at it from a distance."
When she came back to work at the start of this year, Hilary had a completely different attitude. "I had realised that I had gone corporate in a grudging way. I was critical of the environment and, yes, had a bad attitude from the start.
"Through my reflection, I decided to give this job a real try - to take it seriously, to not sneer at my colleagues who bought designer outfits and cared about fancy cars. To simply accept that that's what they cared about and that I cared about other things - and that was fine. So in short - I decided to take my work seriously.
"This year has been completely different to 2006. I have accepted my colleagues' differences and they have accepted mine. We sometimes even laugh about it. I'm calmer, less defensive and, all in all, a happier person at work.
"This doesn't mean that everything is hunky-dory - but it's a hell of a lot better than last year."
Auckland career coach Kaye Avery says the end of the year is a good time for reflection.
"New Zealand starts with a flurry of activity. People come back from their holidays ready to move. Organisations want to know how best to spend training budgets for the year.
"The key is to come back from the holidays with a different perspective. It's about getting the balance right."
Avery says it's excellent to take the time to think during the holidays.
"Careers are complex - there are different pushes and pulls for people. People need to look at what's working for them and what's not."
It's good to go to a career coach who can help you look at your core motivators and key aspirations.
Even if you are planning a relaxing holiday on the beach, you can use the time to reflect, Avery says.
"Make the most of the holiday - relax and recuperate. Connect with yourself and your family.
"Sometimes, when you're sitting under a pohutukawa tree or the kids are in bed, use the quiet to think about what's going right and wrong in your life. Think of your long-term plans. What do you need to look at? What conversations do you need to have?"
Avery says you get a better perspective when you are relaxed. "We also put on personas for work. When we are relaxed, we are more ourselves. It's good to look to the new year and make plans from a relaxed place."
Of course, we all know that often new year's resolutions come to nought.
As motivational speaker Vic Johnson says on selfgrowth.com: "The majority of new year's resolutions have gone by the wayside before January is over and most won't even be remembered six months later.
"And the reason is pretty simple: Most are made in response to something negative - a habit or situation that the person wants to change or end [such as smoking or losing weight]. And therein lies the problem - it's hard to develop momentum from a negative response. It is always easier to move towards something rather than away from something."
Johnson suggests that when you make your resolutions "if you're going to make a new year's resolution this year, make one with a high probability for success. Make a resolution to develop a life plan."
Be able to visualise the result.
"Most people are in a free-fall through life, careening from one crisis to the next. They wake up one day and 10, 20, 30 or more years have passed and they're nowhere near where they thought or hoped they'd be.
"Working with a life plan you're much more apt to be excited by what the future brings even if you succeed at attaining only a small part of your plan."
Avery says keeping to decisions reached after reflecting over the year is about Smart (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely) goals.
"If your goal is too specific but not realistic, it may all result in a feeling of failure. You need to look at the context of your whole life, at all your other responsibilities to see what's realistic."
If you have a family, working in the office for 14 hours a day may not be what works for you.
"There is a formula: Action equals traction equals attraction. Take a step forward, learn a bit more and develop some traction. Find out about things. Enhance achievement.
"Look at what is important. Income and promotion may not be as important as learning. Look at your values to measure your goals. Have a clear plan for yourself. Put some signposts into your year. Decide that by March you would have done ABC, by June DEF and so on. It's a way of measuring how you've moved forward."
Jasbindar Singh, business psychologist, executive coach and author of Get your Groove Back, says the end of the year is a ritualistic time to take stock. The new year is a time of new beginnings. "After the mad build-up to Christmas, it's really good to take time for reflection. Ask how the year has been for me."
Some questions she suggests you ask yourself are: "What are some of the things I have achieved this year? Look at work life and home. How have I celebrated what I've achieved? What am I really proud of? What could I have achieved this year and didn't? How do I do it next year? How have I grown as a person? What have I learned? Celebrate these things."
Singh says it's good to reflect on our actions. People with small businesses should take stock - "take a helicopter view. How are things working out? Is my business achieving in the way it should? As an individual, have I recognised and taken the opportunities that I've had this year? Are things going in the right direction?"
Goal-setting is important. "It helps you become focused and intentional." Like Avery, she says goals need to be realistic or Smart goals. "They should not be vague, like lose weight or study. They need to be specific and clear.
"Also, ask if you are really committed to your goals. We do what we're really committed to. It's important to have clarity. Have the big picture in front of you. Keep your big goals in front of you and find things that strengthen your resolve. Have a group of people who support you. Perhaps have regular peer meetings or tell your goals to friends and colleagues. Buddy up with someone with similar goals - if it's weight loss, go to the gym with a friend; if it's study, find a study buddy.
"Seek support at various levels. A coach will help and keep you accountable."
Singh says it's important to see the progress, what's being built.
And you need to be realistic about your goals. "You don't want to set yourself up for failure. Take a bite-sized approach. Do what's possible. Goals and intentions that are reasoned deeply are more lasting. You have to be really committed.
"Don't do things because you 'should'. That's an external driver. You need internal drivers."
Singh encourages people to write down their reflections and goals. "Not just the big-ticket things - also the softer issues and relationships which are just as vital, such as getting on better with colleagues."
And once you know your goals - and if you have a supportive boss - have a discussion about how the next year will go.
