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Home / New Zealand

'Sworn to secrecy': Man reveals he was sexually violated by babysitter

Otago Daily Times
23 Apr, 2019 02:02 AM4 mins to read

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Jason thought his babysitter was ‘cool’. But he turned out to be the start of a series of ‘predators’ who sexually violated him. Video CTV

WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT: Some readers may find the content distressing.

Jason thought his babysitter was 'cool'. But he turned out to be the start of a series of 'predators' who sexually violated him.

He spiralled into drugs, drink driving went to jail and was then injured in the 2011 Christchurch earthquake.

​"Why I don't understand is how they can do this to someone and live a normal life.

"And we are stuck with this sh*t. Their s***," he said.

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Jason, speaking through tears, said he was first sexually abused from about six-years-old and continued until he was eight-years-old.

He was abused by a series of predators, including a man who was his babysitter and a family friend.

Jason revealed they were watching 21 Jump Street on a Saturday night when he took advantage of him.

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"I was sworn to secrecy. He was going to hurt me if I said anything. He was going to hurt my family if I said something."

Because his mum was not coping well after splitting with his dad he was sent to health camp, where he was abused by an "old man".

"[He was] really nice, gives you things, grooms you."

His recollection of the abuse if foggy, but he remembers waking up naked in an old man's bed at least three or four times, wondering why he was naked.

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"Every morning I woke up, I was naked in an old man's bed.

"I don't know if I was drugged ... It was scary as hell."

He said the abuse made him a "confused little boy" who was "afraid of the world" and concerned about who was going to be "the next one."

When he was around 13 or 14, Jason started getting nightmares about the sexual assaults.

"That's when my mum confronted me. She asked if someone touched me and I said 'yes'."

"She cried. I had to leave the room because I couldn't see my mum cry."

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Jason spiralled into drugs, drink driving went to jail and was then injured in the 2011 Christchurch earthquake. Photo / CTV
Jason spiralled into drugs, drink driving went to jail and was then injured in the 2011 Christchurch earthquake. Photo / CTV

Jason revealed at that time he was scared of males.

"I couldn't be in the room with them. Seriously a group of them .. I would just freak out."

As a teen he was expelled from secondary school after he snapped from being repeatedly bullied.

"The girls would lock me out of the room because we used to get into trouble if we were late for class.

"One day I had enough and I went and smashed every window there was and every door that I had to go through.

"I didn't like it. They just wouldn't stop picking on me.

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Jason's Grandfather died when he was 17 and he said it was like "losing a dad."

"I was too scared to tell him. He was an army man .. you gotta be strong. I was his wee soldier. Soldier's don't cry "

"It's that old mentality, bottle it up, toughen up mate, she'll be right."

Jason had been "in and out of the court system", including for drink-driving, and had relied on alcohol and drugs.

"I thought those people liked me."

Crushed in the earthquake

During the devastating February 22, 2011 earthquake he was partially crushed under a boulder.

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He was building a retaining wall out at Sumner when the earthquake hit.

A 3-tonne boulder came down. Of the four workers, one was killed and he and another were injured.

"I turned into a full-time alcoholic after that."

He realised after losing a girlfriend he needed to "fix myself".

It took him "two years" and he said he was now not as "clouded" as he was before, despite having some bad weeks.

"My relationship with my son is ten times better than it's ever been.

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"It's fun to sit and watch him be normal.

"And the confidence he has got is so incredible."

If you're in danger NOW:

• Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours of friends to ring for you.
• Run outside and head for where there are other people.
• Scream for help so that your neighbours can hear you.
• If you are being abused, remember it's not your fault.

Where to go for help or more information:

• NZ Police
• Help Auckland 24/7 helpline 09 623 1700
• Rape Prevention Education
• Wellington Help 24/7 crisisline 04 801 6655, push 0
• Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
• Women's Refuge: Free national crisis line operates 24/7 - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 www.womensrefuge.org.nz
• Shine, free national helpline 9am- 11pm every day - 0508 744 633 www.2shine.org.nz
• Shakti: Providing specialist cultural services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and their children. Crisis line 24/7 0800 742 584
• White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women, focusing this year on sexual violence and the issue of consent. www.whiteribbon.org.nz

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