Survivor tells of battle to cope since disaster

Cave Creek survivor Carolyn Smith wishes she had been among those killed when the West Coast viewing platform plummeted 30m on April 28, 1995.

Thirteen Poutini Polytech students and a Conservation Department (DoC) officer died.

"My life has been hell ever since," she said.

Through stress she had "a bit of a mental breakdown", had been on an invalid benefit for about a year, and was taking anti-depressants, Ms Smith said.

She spent much of 1995 recovering, then returned to the Greymouth polytech to finish the course in 1996.

That was followed by a year working in West Coast cafes before a move to Nelson, where she spent about two years doing orchard work, then another year on a farm.

Three years were spent working in a cafe and running a smoked fish business.

"Over those years I was determined I would manage it on my own," Ms Smith said.

"I just didn't have the energy to fight it [the trauma effects] any more and finally had to seek some help."

One good thing from this year was the chance to re-establish contact with another of the survivors, Stacy Mitchell.

They were reunited on the Paul Holmes television programme last month, a night after Mr Mitchell appeared by himself to talk of his guilt at shaking the platform before it fell.

Ms Smith had seen him maybe twice in the year after the accident but other than that it had been "like he dropped off the face of the earth".

"I was worrying quite badly about him. At least now he has done the same thing as I have. He's sought help."

Survivor Sam Lucas is now studying for a PhD at the University of Otago School of Physical Education, where his specific topic is the effects of prolonged exercise and sleep deprivation

"You never really are over it. I suppose I just learned to deal with it. It's always with you," Mr Lucas said.

"It doesn't define who I am. It's just something that has happened along the way."

It had probably been easier for him to move on than for the parents of those who died.

Unlike Ms Smith and Mr Mitchell he said he did not recall the plunge.

"They are haunted by the actual event, which I have no memory of and, different from [survivor] Stephen [Hannen], I'm able to still do most things I was able to do beforehand. I'm not too impaired," Mr Lucas said.

"It took something from me. It took some good friends. It took some of my physical abilities and ... I guess it has taken some of the innocence of youth."

Clinically, he was 33 per cent disabled.

Each limb had been damaged in the fall and he had suffered some head trauma. He had knee and ligament damage and could not fully straighten an elbow.

After Cave Creek he had been away from the polytechnic for 12 weeks, then returned to complete the course.

In 1996 he had done a follow-on course at the polytechnic - leadership in outdoor recreation and management.

In 1997 he had moved to Dunedin where he studied for an undergraduate physical education degree and a science degree before moving onto his PhD work.

Mr Hannen said he did not think about how his life would have been without the accident, and said his faith had made things much easier to deal with.

Now living in Christchurch, he runs a storage business as well as doing graphic design work, goes skiing and plays tennis.

In 2001, Mr Hannen married but he and his wife separated last year.

"You can't live with what-ifs or buts. This is what life is, it's reality. You've got to accept what you've got and get on and do it," he said.

He was in Australia with the New Zealand development wheelchair rugby team the week before heading to the West Coast for the commemoration.

"So it's a pretty busy month."

For Mr Mitchell, the decision to appear in last month's television interview was made after some life changes.

"I changed my lifestyle. I was living pretty recklessly. I went and got help for it. I had to get off and stop the drugs and the drinking and all of that because it was taking a toll on my life," he said.

"With the drugs and alcohol I started using them to put away the emotions and the feelings."

He had received comparatively minimal injuries in the collapse, but the disaster had taken a psychological toll.

"I lost myself and the person I was before that," he said.

The survivors and families of those who died are to mark the anniversary with a private event at DoC's Punakaiki field centre on Thursday.

* Those who died at Cave Creek on April 28, 1995:

Tai Poutini Polytech students Alison Blackman, Abram Larmour, Matthew Reed, Barry Hobson, Scott Murray, Anne-Marie Cook, Jody Davis, Catherine McCarthy, Peter Shaw, Kit Pawsey, Evan Stuart, De Anne Reid and Paul Chisholm.

DoC Punakaiki field centre manager Stephen O'Dea.

Commission findings

* A commission of inquiry by Christchurch District Court judge Graeme Noble into the collapse concluded that the platform was not built in accordance with sound building practice.

* He said it would be "quite inappropriate to point the finger of blame at any one of the individuals".

* "The root causes of the collapse lie in a combined systemic failure against the background of an underfunded and under-resourced department ... ," Judge Noble said.

* Families of the victims received a total of $2.6 million compensation from the Crown.

- NZPA