Watch out for donkeys - they could be rigged with bombs.
That's the latest warning when out on the streets of Kabul. Donkeys carting improvised explosive devices, or IEDs as they are known, hidden in their sidebags.
And for "improvised" don't read amateurish - IEDs are sophisticated and the main killer of international forces in Afghanistan.
Major Olly Te Ua, the New Zealand Army patrol leader, runs through other threats such as a suicide bomber in a grey Toyota Corolla.
This description is of virtually no help in Kabul, where almost every car is a Toyota of some kind. Left or right-hand drive, it doesn't matter, there are thousands of them. It is the only city in the world you will see a BMW with a Toyota sticker on it.
Each roundabout is clogged with cars, every decent vantage point taken up with posters for candidates in next month's elections. One, for a female candidate, is particularly clever - she is ripping off the famous Andy Warhol portrait of Marilyn Monroe.
Forget for a moment where you are, and Kabul is just another Asian city. Its hustle even seems more genteel than others.
It is a mass of low-rise, square and flat-topped buildings cocooned by massive mountain ranges. But even these have not been able to hem it in - Major Te Ua points out that its 4 million people are in a city designed for 800,000 - and from the air you can see how Kabul's sprawl has awkwardly squeezed itself out through a gap.
Don't let the sand, heat and dust fool you, at 1800m above sea-level, Kabul would be perched well up the side of Mt Taranaki.
Businesses are trading away on the roadside and it is safe by Afghanistan's standards, which is why so many have come here. The Taleban abandoned the city under heavy American bombing soon after the 2001 invasion, and the Afghan Army and police now provide most of the security.
Any sense of relative normality disappears in the inner-city, a Green Zone-type fortress that itself holds various smaller compounds housing the international forces, President Hamid Karzai's palace and government buildings and embassies.
The streets are lined with mature trees from happier times but these are overshadowed by the Lego-like concrete pillars that make a maze interrupted only by an array of checkpoints. The security here ranges from messy Afghan security guards lugging old Kalashnikovs to high-tech cellphone jammers that will block IEDs from being set off remotely.
Once inside the compounds the environment is calm and men and women wear suits and dress clothes as if they are ordinary workplaces. The signs warning of rocket attacks, a lipstick-wearing woman carrying a Bushmaster rifle or security guard so laden with ammunition it is a wonder he can move soon serve as reminders.
When patrolling outside this zone, Major Te Ua is looking for atmospherics - "anything that makes your hairs stand on end".
Military are of course a target, so like most other forces the New Zealanders drive in relatively low-key - but bullet- and bomb-proof - Toyota four-wheel drives.
Many Westerners are increasingly happy to travel about the city unaided. At times during my visit, security was low - but always bullet-proof. Other times, after visiting targets such as the upcoming election headquarters or police bases, it was extremely high.
One such journey with Americans involved racing through traffic in a convoy manned by a private security detail, the front vehicle clearing the way as discreetly as possible and the rear vehicle sweeping it back with a blaring siren - and at one major intersection enforcing this by a guard popping out the sunroof and training his machine gun on waiting cars.
Major Te Ua is a territorial soldier on a six-month deployment. He is usually the Hamilton City Council's community development manager but is bringing these skills to Kabul, where he is working on improving its governance structures and often dealing with ministers and the Mayor of Kabul, Mir Abdul Ahad Sahibi.
Major Te Ua and a small group of soldiers based in or near Kabul are part of the "niche" contributions outside the main base in Bamiyan recently praised by US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
Working out of a shipping container dubbed "Te Papa", they slot into various parts of the Nato-led force and are well-known for their ability to get on with the job. The recently departed Lieutenant Colonel Jeremy Ramsden just became the first New Zealander to receive Nato's Meritorious Service Medal for his "superior leadership" in the planning unit.
The Kabul patrol's driver, Trooper Nick Hill from Tauranga, is used to the role: his primary job is driving the dangerous route between Kabul and the Bagram military air base. Trooper Hill's description of this route is typically Kiwi: "It has its moments."
The patrol stops for a moment on Swimming Pool Hill - named after the Olympic swimming pool complete with diving boards that sits on its top.
The sun starts to set on Kabul just like it does on any other great city.
But the swimming pool serves as a reminder of its extraordinarily violent recent past. It was built by occupying Soviet forces in the 1980s, while they watched out for the Afghan mujahideen. Then the Taleban used it in the 1990s, throwing alleged criminals and homosexuals off the highest diving board to crash to the concrete floor.
As children play happily with the New Zealand soldiers beside the still-empty pool one can only wonder - and hope - about what Kabul will see next.
* Patrick Gower travelled to Afghanistan and Nato HQ in Brussels with assistance from the US State Department.
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