NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

Steve Braunias: The Secret Diary of ... Winston Peters

Steve Braunias
By Steve Braunias
Senior Writer·NZ Herald·
8 Jun, 2018 05:00 PM3 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Winston Peters will take the reins as acting Prime Minister after Jacinda Ardern gives birth. Photo / Mark Mitchell

Winston Peters will take the reins as acting Prime Minister after Jacinda Ardern gives birth. Photo / Mark Mitchell

Steve Braunias
Opinion by Steve Braunias
Steve Braunias writes for the Listener and Newsroom.
Learn more

MONDAY

Monday morning caucus. I sat down next to Jacinda, and examined her.

"You're looking a bit peaky," I said.

"Sorry, what?"

"Peaky," I said. "You're looking a bit peaky."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"No, I'm good," she said.

"Are you? Are you really?"

"Yes. But, you know, thanks for asking."

The meeting was due to begin. A few ministers were gossiping and laughing at the door. Phil Twyford was miming putting on a jacket in an aeroplane. James Shaw was blowing on his peppermint tea. What a rabble. They're in for the fright of their lives. They're going to get a goddamned rocket.

"Any day now," I said to Jacinda.

"Sorry, what?"

Discover more

Opinion

The Prime Minister's music playlist

11 May 05:00 PM
Opinion

The secret diary of the royal wedding

18 May 05:00 PM
Opinion

Steve Braunias: Secret Diary of Paula Bennett

25 May 05:00 PM
Opinion

The secret diary of Paula Bennett

01 Jun 05:00 PM

"The baby. Due any day."

"Yes."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"Any minute."

"Well, I don't know about that. I mean I'm not going to give birth during caucus."

"But if you did," I said, "then the important thing to remember is that everything will carry on without you. You're not to worry yourself about Government, and how it's going to be managed. It's going to be managed just fine. You worry about the baby. You worry about him."

"Or her," she said.

"Sorry, what?"

"Her. It could be a girl."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"Yes," I sighed. "A girl."

TUESDAY

Tuesday morning haircut. "The usual," I said.

He brushed my hair for an hour, and said, "There you go."

I sat in the chair and studied all the angles.

He said, "Something wrong?"

"June 17 looms," I said. "I want to look my best."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"You always look your best."

"I know," I said. "But still. What if there was a hair out of place?"

I sat in the chair and we studied all the angles.

WEDNESDAY

Wednesday morning sauna. David Seymour came in. I said, "Get out."

He said, "This is a democracy."

"No it isn't," I said. "Get out."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

THURSDAY

Thursday morning haircut. We found a hair out of place.

"Well, that's never happened before," the barber said. He got to work with the brush. But that single hair refused to obey.

That's politics for you. You can see the big picture, you can work hard towards the ultimate prize, but if you're not careful, if you're not vigilant, the smallest of details can trip you up. I've been careful. I've been vigilant. No one understands how to play the game as well as I have. I've outlasted them all. From Muldoon to English, they've come and gone, and I'm still standing. It's taken a supreme effort and I'm not going to relax now.

"This," said the barber, waving a pair of scissors, "or this?"

I nodded at the Grecian 2000.

FRIDAY

Friday morning Koru Lounge breakfast. "With ice, please," I told the barman.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

I toasted myself in the mirror. Only one more week to wait. June 17 looms...

"Hello there! Mind if I join you?", said Jacinda.

"Please," I said.

She took a while to manoeuvre herself into the chair.

"Phew," she said.

I said, "How's – what's his name again? The fisherman."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"Clarke," she said. "He's good. But what about you? How are you? Feeling okay about taking the reins?"

"Oh," I said, "You mean becoming the Prime Minister? If I'm honest, I've barely given it a thought."

"Acting," she said.

"Sorry, what?"

She said, "Acting. You forgot the 'acting'. You're becoming the acting Prime Minister."
I looked deep into my glass.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from New Zealand

New Zealand

'Life-changing': International flights return to Hamilton Airport

18 Jun 05:23 AM
New ZealandUpdated

Person dies after being run over by own vehicle

18 Jun 04:58 AM
New ZealandUpdated

'Awful incident': Teen girl seriously injured by car outside Nelson college

18 Jun 04:51 AM

Jono and Ben brew up a tea-fuelled adventure in Sri Lanka

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from New Zealand

'Life-changing': International flights return to Hamilton Airport

'Life-changing': International flights return to Hamilton Airport

18 Jun 05:23 AM

Jetstar's first planes to Sydney and Gold Coast have taken off from Hamilton this week.

Person dies after being run over by own vehicle

Person dies after being run over by own vehicle

18 Jun 04:58 AM
'Awful incident': Teen girl seriously injured by car outside Nelson college

'Awful incident': Teen girl seriously injured by car outside Nelson college

18 Jun 04:51 AM
Father, daughter steal $190k in ATM heist, $159k still missing

Father, daughter steal $190k in ATM heist, $159k still missing

18 Jun 04:09 AM
Help for those helping hardest-hit
sponsored

Help for those helping hardest-hit

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP