MONDAY
That idiot next door is at it again about his problem with the shared driveway.
I said to him, "This is your problem, mate. Don't make it my problem."
And then he goes on his usual rant about how concerned he is for the safety of his kids.
I said to
him, "Are you aware of the statistics about the risks posed by shared driveways? They are very, very low, my friend. In 99.9 per cent of cases, shared driveways have no impact on safety."
And then he says I pulled that statistic out of thin air, and that it doesn't make any difference.
I said to him, "If you're so concerned about statistics, I suggest you look at the road toll. Because that's where the real harm is being caused."
And then he says all of this beside the point, that the point is the safety of his kids on the shared driveway.
I said to him, "You're back where you're started. You live your life, and I'll get on with mine. Now get the hell off my property."
And then he starts saying it's not my property, that we both share the driveway, but I had enough of him and walked off.
TUESDAY
Jaden turned up at the house this morning.
I said, "Why aren't you at work?"
And then he reminds me that Covid-19 vaccine mandate for health and education workers came into force today.
I said, "This is destroying the beautiful free country we used to take for granted!"
And then he pulls a beer out of the fridge, sits down on the couch, and looks at his phone.
I said, "This is about freedom of choice, personal sovereignty, Marxist identity division, economic destruction, and loss of freedoms!"
And then he lies down on the couch.
I said, "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that all of our politicians have coerced, pressured and manipulated the sheeple into taking the Pfizer vaccine!"
And then he says he's hungry, and what's there to eat, but I had enough of the dystopian nightmare where ordinary New Zealanders are being criminalised for expressing their opinion, and walked off.
WEDNESDAY
The idiot next door called the police. This is getting ugly. He is pushing things too far.
I shouted at him, "Actions can have very, very dangerous consequences, my friend!"
And then the cop says to calm down, that making threats isn't going to do me any favours.
I shouted at her, "I'm the victim here!"
And then the idiot next door shouts that I'm not the victim, that I'm a menace who could have killed Noah when I hooned up the driveway.
I shouted at him, "Look at you, cowering on your doorstep! How about I come over and smash your face in?"
And then the cop starts shouting, and I try to walk off but she stops me.
THURSDAY
Individuals like myself will go down in history for the persecutions we have suffered.
