Today FM off-air: Steve Braunias - The Secret Broadcast of ... Tova O’Brien

Tova O'Brien: Are you there, Cam? Dallas? Wendy? Photo / Today FM

OPINION

MONDAY

Today on Today FM, your talk radio, we’ll be talking about the unsung heroes of New Zealand - the venture capitalists and their functionaries who have the courage, the daring and the vision to create a new business that takes on the big boys for a share of the market and is prepared to back it for five years with a long-term strategy that reflects the faith it has in its people.

We’re joined now by big-spending MediaWorks CEO Cam Wallace.

Good morning, Cam.

Cam, good morning?

Are you there, Cam?

We seem to be having technical problems getting through to big-spending MediaWorks CEO Cam Wallace but we’re joined now by someone he brought on to help lead MediaWorks over the next five years, Dallas Gurney.

Good morning, Dallas.

Dallas, good morning?

Are you there, Dallas?

We seem to be having technical problems getting through to anyone right now and, to be honest, that’s been the case for a while. But someone’s just come into the studio and he’s always keen to express a fresh take on topical events.

We’re joined now by one of the big names of Today FM, your talk radio, Duncan Garner.

TUESDAY

We’re still having technical problems getting through to anyone at MediaWorks, but there are fresh reports coming in that the company has formed a fairly different idea of how long a long-term strategy actually is.

Five years seems to be pushing it.

More like five minutes, is the message we’re hearing.

Well, that’s an interesting development, and we’re joined now by someone who is always available for a comment.

Good morning, Duncan.

WEDNESDAY

Today on Today FM, your talk radio, we’ll be talking about what it’s like to come to work and find that no one has put away the dishes in the staff kitchen, the tea and coffee is running low, the milk’s gone off, and there’s no biscuits.

We’re joined by interim MediaWorks CEO Wendy Palmer to help explain this sorry state of affairs.

Good morning, Wendy.

Wendy, good morning?

Are you there, Wendy?

Well it doesn’t look like Wendy’s there, but maybe, just maybe, she’s down at the dairy getting Dilmah, trim milk and a packet of Cameo Cremes for the team at Today FM, your talk radio.

THURSDAY

Today on Today FM, your music radio, Duncan Garner and I will be playing all the hits.

Our playlist includes The End of the Line by the Travelling Wilburys, Money’s Too Tight To Mention by Simply Red, That’s Life by Frank Sinatra, and a number I’ve written myself and will drop right now. I hope you enjoy it.

It’s called They’ve F***ed Us.

FRIDAY

A message from MediaWorks: We’ll be working with Tova, Duncan and the rest of the abruptly terminated Today FM team to identify other opportunities within MediaWorks where possible and to support them in their next steps.

Throughout we will stay true to the remark made this week by Logan Roy in the latest series of Succession: “What are people? They’re economic units.”