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Home / New Zealand

Steve Braunias: The not at all secret diary of world leaders this week

Steve Braunias
By Steve Braunias
Senior Writer·NZ Herald·
19 Jul, 2019 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Boris Johnson is confident the planes will fly after the UK leaves Europe. Photo / AP

Boris Johnson is confident the planes will fly after the UK leaves Europe. Photo / AP

Steve Braunias
Opinion by Steve Braunias
Steve Braunias writes for the Listener and Newsroom.
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COMMENT

BORIS JOHNSON, ENGLAND

People say that after we leave [Europe] there will be no drinking water and planes won't fly and I read the other day that the Ministry of Agriculture said that there will be no milk solids and glucose and whey to make the Mars bars on which our children depend.

It is absolute nonsense, I mean I make a confident prediction that whatever happens on November 1 after we've come out the planes will fly, there will be clean drinking water, and there will be whey for our Mars bars because where there's a will there's a way, ladies and gentlemen.

XI JINPING, CHINA

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Be brave to handle heavy burdens, crack hard nuts and handle hot potatoes.

Don't be muddle-headed officials who are politically apathetic and do things half-heartedly; don't be lazy officials who spend the whole day eating and idle their time away.

RODRIGO DUTERTE, PHILIPPINES

Look, as I have told you before, ladies and gentlemen of the world, I will only be tried or face a trial in a Philippine court. Presided by a Filipino judge. Prosecuted by a Filipino. Maybe they can reimpose the death penalty so I can die in Filipino land.

I will not answer a Caucasian. You must be stupid. Who are you? I am a Filipino. We have our courts here. I have my country. It's working. Justice is working here.

Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte. Photo / Greg Bowker
Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte. Photo / Greg Bowker

AYMAN AL-ZAWAHIRI, (AL-QAEDA), PAKISTAN

I am of the view that the mujahedeen in Kashmir should focus with a single mind on inflicting unrelenting blows on the Indian Army and Government so as to bleed the Indian economy and make India suffer sustained losses in manpower and equipment.

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AYATOLLAH ALI KHAMENEI, IRAN

The vicious British Government committed piracy and attacked our ship [the Royal Marines seized an Iranian oil tanker off the coast of Gibraltar, in breach of EU sanctions]. They commit crimes and legalise it.

The Islamic Republic and the believing members of the establishment will not leave such vicious acts without a response.

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21 Jun 05:00 PM
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Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Photo / AP
Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Photo / AP

DONALD TRUMP, AMERICA

So interesting to see "Progressive" Democrat Congresswomen [including Somalian-born Ilhan Omar], who originally came from countries whose governments are a complete and total catastrophe, the worst, most corrupt and inept anywhere in the world, now loudly and viciously telling the people of the United States, the greatest and most powerful nation on earth, how our Government is to be run.

Why don't they go back and help fix the totally broken and crime-infested places from which they came? Then come back and show us how it is done.

I'm sure that Nancy Pelosi would be very happy to quickly work out travel arrangements.

Donald Trump. Photo / AP
Donald Trump. Photo / AP

MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS, SOMALIA

In honour of Hodan Nalayeh [a Canadian-Somali journalist, among 26 people, including her husband, killed by al-Shabab Islamist militants in Kismayo on Friday; she was nine months pregnant], the Government will have The Hodan Nalayeh Award. Every year we will recognise an outstanding individual who made a positive contribution from the Somali diaspora.

SIMON BRIDGES, NEW ZEALAND

I don't believe there is a climate emergency.

Simon Bridges. Photo / Michael Craig
Simon Bridges. Photo / Michael Craig
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