Steve Braunias' Secret Diary of John Key's flag

At the end of the day it's not about the National Party. Photo / Norrie Montgomery

JOHN KEY
At the end of the day it's not about the National Party.

It's about all of us.

It's about who we are as a nation and who we are as a people.

God almighty! How much do we pay Ralston to come up with this stuff?

BILL RALSTON
Hi, I'm Bill Ralston. You might remember me as a journalist but these days I pursue the truth in more constructive ways as a National Party operative.

And that's why I'm standing in my house and talking really animatedly in a video about why we need to change the flag.

There's the hallway to my left. You can see the kitchen over my shoulder. Would you like to come outside? I don't have much of a front garden - but it's big enough to put up a campaign sign every three years on behalf of National Party MP Nikki Kaye.

DAME JENNY SHIPLEY
I remember Bill Ralston. Oh, he was a rascal, a real cheeky monkey! But now the National Party looks upon him fondly, as we do all our pets.

I'm appearing in a video about why we need to change the flag because I feel very deeply and passionately about this subject. I don't want my grandchildren to grow up under a colonial symbol any more than I would accept a colonial title such as Dame.

SIR JAMES BOLGER
I remember Shipley. Rolled me as Prime Minister in 1997. I was standing in an airport minding my own business when Doug Graham walked up to me and said, "Mate," he said, "Shipley's got the numbers. You're out, mate."

Well, that's politics. And now here I am appearing in a video about why we need to change the flag, because the National Party asked me to, and I'm loyal to the party. Call me old-fashioned but I put a high price on loyalty.

Unlike some people but I'm not going to mention any dames.

DAN CARTER
Well, who would have. Thought that it. Would be such hard work standing in my apartment and. Appearing in a video about why we. Need to change the. Flag.

Someone in the. National Party sent me a script and said just stand there and read. It. Out. Loud. To the camera and I said no. Sweat.

There's the hallway to. My left and there's the. Kitchen over my. Shoulder would you like to come outside with me and have some. Kicks, I know I would.

IAN FRASER
Hi, I'm Ian Fraser. Someone at the National Party said to me, "We're scraping the bottom of the barrel for a video we're making about changing the flag. Are you busy?"

GARY McCORMICK
Hey-ho, it's your old mate Gaz! Okay. Here's the thing. Our flag should reflect the vibrancy of the people we are.

It certainly reflects the vibrancy of the people who are appearing with me in this National Party video about why we need to change the flag.

Look! There's wassisname. Wrote plays, or something.

ROGER HALL
I write plays, or something.

LEWIS HOLDEN
At the end of the day it's not about the National Party, and I say this as chairman of the Change the Flag committee and as someone who has stood as a National candidate.

It's about John.

He's putting a brave face on it but he's hurting.

He's seen the polls. He said to me the other day, "They'll wake up in a few months' time and they'll realise what a terrible mistake they made, because it's not going to make a blind bit of difference to me!"

He was crying when he said it.

I said, "Mate," I said, "Here. Dry your eyes."

I handed him something in my closed fist. It was the Lockwood flag.

"Thanks," he said, and blew his nose.

Debate on this article is now closed.