Sorrow eased by gentle helpers

When the King family lost husband and father, Chris, to pancreatic cancer, the palliative care team were there.

"It was hugs all round and, without any pressure put on at all, they asked us if they could do anything," wife and mother Therese said.

She said the palliative care service team, Kahukura, had a compassion, empathy and understanding that made it all a little bit easier.

The Wairarapa DHB-run team supports people facing the consequences of a progressive, life-limiting illness, 24 hours a day and at no cost.

Therese said her husband had some symptoms from September last year, initially diagnosed as stomach ulcers, but it was not until he went to the emergency department with vomiting and jaundice that doctors started to talk cancer. He spent three weeks in hospital, undergoing a variety of tests and an operation to open his bile duct, which was being squashed by a tumour, and in October was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

"They didn't give us a time or say how long he was going to live, but they said 'get your affairs in order' ... he gave us a percentage of how well people with that cancer respond to chemo and we thought, yep, we'll be one of that 30 per cent."

Chris spent six months in Palmerston North undergoing chemotherapy and, in the second month responded well, making the most of every minute he felt well. "He was chopping wood, he raced cars at Manfeild, he went on school camp, we went on a beach holiday, climbed Castle Rock ... it gave us quite a bit of time. He was determined to be one of the ones who could beat it."

It was just after his 43rd birthday that the cancer came back, he was readmitted to hospital, and the family was introduced to the palliative care team.

Therese said having the team on board was a relief.

"A lot of people think palliative are there in the dying stages, but when it comes to the end, the management of the symptoms and pain relief, they are the experts."

Chris spent 19 days between HDU and the wards, undergoing another operation, until Therese advocated for him to come home.

The family had three weeks together at home before Chris died, and the palliative care team were available 24 hours a day and supported the whole family.

"All the children were involved as well. If the kids had questions, they were answered, they were involved and that was important ... It was very healing to be a part of that process."

Palliative care nurse Pam Brown said bringing Chris home so soon after an operation presented some new challenges for the team - providing a great learning opportunity - but they were supported by other teams who made themselves available day and night for advice.

Mrs Brown, who has been a nurse all her working life and in palliative care for the last decade, said every family's needs were different.

"Everybody's journey is unique to that person. Something we've learned is that there are many different paths to take and what we're doing is all about what is good for the family and what's good for the patient."

Today is World Hospice and Palliative Care Day, go to www.worldday.org for more information.