Sideswipe

David Wikaira-Paul and Paul Ellis (see story below).

Train-wreck television gathers speed: the producers of So You Want to Be A Popstar have decided half-way through the series to insert pre-recorded segments of former Idol judge Paul Ellis critiquing the performances. Sure, the post- performance chit-chat with Oliver Driver falls dreadfully flat, especially if the performance was, but why put us through the verbal stumbling Ellis again? When told for the first time, during the live segment of this week's show, David Wikaira-Paul's genuinely surly response was "what does he know?" Cue awkward silence and Driver agreeing. Cut to the pre-recorded Ellis fumbling through his scripted 20 seconds, oblivious to the dis.

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The flipside to the slap-dash, ego-enhancing, light-entertainment of some local broadcast products (you know who you are), the British television awards proved not all its television is puddle-deep. At Britain's national television awards a video message from Prime Minister Tony Blair tells TV chef Jamie Oliver that he has "used the power of television to change things for the better in the homes and schools in our country". Before you pour scorn on Oliver (the poster boy for the tall poppy syndrome if there ever was one) you should know the series Jamie's School Dinners forced Blair's Government to spend 280 million ($708 million) on tackling the school-meal crisis.

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A reader writes: "While down south my wife broke her ankle. It was late at night by the time we got her to Palmerston North hospital for an x-ray. The on-call radiographer who attended to my wife commented that it was 'nice to be able to talk to her patients for a change'. Turns out the radiographer's day job was at a veterinary clinic".

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Police crack down on serious crime wave: election promises to crack down on the serious crime wave in Ponsonby have been made good. New police initiatives have swung into place this week. Criminals are easily identified by simply driving their own motor vehicles down Redmond St at 9.30am. Thus trapped, they are swooped on by a squad of six special force officers in day-glo jackets, armed with regulation clip boards. It is also expected that, once Winston's extra 1000 police are recruited, the nearby police station on the corner of Redmond St and Jervois Rd will remain open after 4pm and at weekends, though crimes rarely occur at these times.

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Alon Orpaz and Tehila Salev got married in a traditional Hindu ceremony in Pushkar, India, and at the end of the ceremony, the Israeli couple kissed each other. This outraged the priests at the temple, who called police. The couple were charged with public indecency and a court sentenced them to 10 days in prison or an $11 fine. They paid the fine. (Source: reason.com)