Sideswipe

If you haven't seen an Über-Mummy, you haven't spent enough time in Mt Eden. A new local blog called Vile File outlines the distinguishing features of what the writer cleverly christens the Über-Mummy (ÜM).

1. The Enormous SUV: The ÜM ferries her Child around in an enormous four-wheel-drive vehicle. Now we all acknowledge that the inner city and the outlying suburbs are areas that necessitate the use of a four-wheel-drive. The terrain is one of geographic uncertainty: treacherous ravines, mountainous ranges and avalanches are all regularly encountered, yet, curiously, a 1972 Toyota Corolla seems able to manage it.

2. A Dark and Deeply Ironic Sense of Humour: Another popular motif of the ÜM is the bumper sticker on the aforementioned SUV. The sticker is generally one pertaining to environmental causes or organisations, such as "Greenpeace" or "Keep NZ GE Free". This appears to indicate that the ÜMs have a dark and deeply ironic sense of humour, as their bloated gas-guzzling behemoths pump out 30 per cent more carbon monoxide and hydrocarbons and 75 per cent more nitrogen oxides than the average passenger car, and consume up to four times as much fuel.

3. A Gigantic Stroller the Size of a Japanese Hatchback: Obviously, taking the Child for a stroll is very, very important. This stroller is always wheeled along at breakneck speed by a ÜM with a clenched jaw, who pauses only to cast disparaging looks at childless women, or non-ÜMs. The real danger exists when the ÜMs decide to travel in pairs. This means they must both travel as if in a royal procession, abreast and taking up the entire footpath, sweeping the elderly and the infirm into the path of oncoming traffic.

 

(Source: http://vilefile.blogspot.com/)

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Become a spammer to get rid of spammers: A British company is today launching software that it claims will allow computer users to hit back at the mass mailers who clog up our inboxes with sales pitches for pornography, get-rich-quick schemes and cheap medication. Lycos UK is offering free screensavers designed to counterattack the junk emailers by turning their own techniques against them. Entitled, somewhat confusingly, Make Love, Not Spam, the campaign aims to harness the co-ordinated power of under-occupied computers and bombard blacklisted sites with streams of email requests which will slow down targeted addresses and interfere with their business.

(Source: the Guardian)