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Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways,
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·
8 Dec, 2004 05:07 AM3 mins to read

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Rooftop parking in suburban Rotorua.

Rooftop parking in suburban Rotorua.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Gabriella writes: "Online DVD rental service fatso.co.nz has a great function, where if you like a certain movie or TV series on DVD you can click on 'more like this' to find similar items in the genre you might also like. Great idea, hopeless execution. If you liked Lost in Translation, fatso.co.nz gives its top 5 recommendations as being Buffy the Vampire Slayer series 7, Minder series 1 (yes, that hoary old show from the 1970s), Pollyanna with Hayley Mills, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, and The Commitments. But of course!"

* * *

New Act MP Kenneth Wang's maiden speech to Parliament this week sounded a lot like a speech from former Auckland City Mayor John Banks, or was it Jenny Shipley? Wang said that New Zealand has been a "land of opportunity", that it was once a "world leader in living standards", that he wants a "world-class education" system, and described himself as being "passionate and ambitious for New Zealand", which all sounded like Banksie. Then in his summing-up, out came this Shipley-ism: "We owe it to our ancestors who fought so hard and we owe it our descendants who deserve so much". Sideswipe's conclusion? The former mayoral and National Party spin boy Cameron Brewer, who's now Act leader Rodney Hide's press secretary, really needs to get some new material.

* * *

Inane Christmas present idea No 1: Neo Paws are shoes/boots that protect dogs' feet against broken glass, burning cigarettes, hot asphalt, allergens, foxtails, burrs, ticks, rocks, metal objects, salt, dirt, mud, snow, ice or any abrasive surface, while also serving the dual purpose of protecting your hardwood floors, leather upholstery, boat seats and swimming pool liners from dog nails.

* * *

Jeremy Shaw of Remuera, inspired by Jerry Falwell and all the nonsense produced by the reaction to the Civil Union Bill, makes the following contribution: "The Bible states that Jesus is sitting on the right hand of God. Therefore God must be left handed. As we humans are made in the image of God - the Bible says so - we must therefore all be left handed by nature. If we choose to be right handed (the majority) we are contravening the will of God and therefore should be discriminated against and condemned. Only the minority of left handed people will be saved. Enough is enough - there are far too many right handed people in this world. Let us legislate against them. Merry Christmas to all those born again left handers. The right handers can go to hell (and that includes me)!"

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