Sideswipe: Small tickshake

This little sucker was spotted at an ice-cream shop in St Lukes.

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Charmless jewellery
A reader writes: "Sure, TV's Goodnight Kiwi animation, with its nostalgic nod to days when TV actually ended for the night, had a resurgence thanks to You Tube, but its popularity doesn't translate into a line of tacky jewellery. Who would buy this God-awful Goodnight Kiwi and Cat necklace, or the equally hideous charm bracelet? And who's next to be immortalised? Richard and Judy?"

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Texting sting
"Anyone aware of the latest scam in telco world?" asks John Griffin. "I received an unusually high account from Vodafone yesterday and it appears the new way to make money is to define a text as a group of 160 characters ... those 160 characters are inclusive of all those spaces between words, commas, exclamation marks and the little space dots that you might use to indicate a pause ... so, that means Vodafone now splits your text into 160 character lots and charges 17 cents per grouping; 320 characters is two texts. Based upon an average word size of five letters that now means you get charged 20 cents for every text of 27 words. Now this old coot understands why teenagers don't speak plain English when texting ... you get stung for being literate."

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Burger blitz busted
The council and NHS trust in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, planned to highlight the dangers of poor diet and spur locals into action with the building of a 12m effigy of a fat boy in tight clothes sitting in an overflowing ashtray opposite a table full of cakes and burgers. The sculpture was to be paraded through the streets and then burned in a ceremony to be known as Bye Bye Burger Boy. The ceremony was to be the centrepiece of the Heart of Barnsley campaign - an attempt to raise awareness of lifestyle issues in a part of the country that suffers one of the highest rates of heart disease. But council chiefs scrapped the ceremony after health workers complained that it would "humiliate" people.

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Deadly serious
A great-grandfather from Oxford was shocked at being told to pay more rent in advance - just in case he dies. Michael Sherry, 70, was sent the letter from his landlord, the Oxford Citizens Housing Association. The letter said his monthly payment included an additional £13 ($28.17) to increase the credit in his account. It explained that tenants were encouraged to be a month in credit to cover costs "in the unfortunate event of a resident dying". Mr Sherry said the association's insensitive wording had upset him and his family, and the policy itself "beggared belief". He added: "They want you to build up a month's money in case you die. Do they want a month's notice of you dying? (Source: Oxford Mail)

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Big promotion
Last week Sue Fletcher of Remuera saw a large black Rolls Royce with dark tinted windows ..."I couldn't believe my eyes, the number plate was one word - GOD. Perhaps Brian Tamaki has elevated himself yet again?"

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See today's Herald cartoon