3. If I ever start a question with, "do you know ..." he will always reply with, "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."
4. If you stand in front of the TV my dad will say, "You make a better door than a window."
5. If there is ever an ambulance going by with its sirens on my dad will always say, "He'll never sell icecream going at that speed."
(Via reddit.com/r/dadjokes)
Literal beer gut just keeps on brewing
A 61-year-old man kept getting drunk, but swearing he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol. He would get drunk out of the blue - even on a Sunday morning after being at church. Doctors isolated him in the hospital and still his blood alcohol levels went up. They concluded that the man's intestinal tract contained so much brewer's yeast that it acted as an internal brewery. He was becoming drunk from the inside when he consumed carbs. (Source: NPR)
Swinging students have a ball
A giant public art pendulum at a University campus in Michigan has been removed after too many students attempted to replicate Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball music video where Cyrus swings across the screen nude while astride a wrecking ball. Over the last week, students at Grand Valley State University have been sharing their Wrecking Ball tributes over several social media sites - including some done while nude. (Source: The businessinsider.com)
Honest real estate only loser in house price game
A reader writes: "Complaints have already been made, and upheld, against agents who misrepresent price. If they tell a buyer that a price will buy a property, and the vendor has made it clear that the quoted price is unacceptable, then they are misrepresenting the property and a complaint will be upheld. On the flipside, how many buyers are actually honest with the agents they are speaking with? Agents take buyers to properties above their stated price range because buyers constantly, repeatedly, end up spending more than they said they had. The rookie agent who believes everything the buyer tells them will lose the sale time after time, then lose the buyer because they go to another house with another agent and spend an extra $100k. It's the truth, people."
Picture this: Poor Dan Carter...
Picture this#2: New Jersey gun fan created a massive, 350-pound replica of a Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum handgun as his mailbox.
Strange things to buy: 1) This kids suitcase...
2) These rollie papers...
3) These ironic knee socks...
Follow-up: A reader, Dave Bonnet, writes... "I thought I recognised something familiar about the underground Las Vegas house featured in Sideswipe online yesterday. The guy who built it was a wealthy US businessman who also owned Cecil Peak Station near Queenstown from 1979-1986: Jerry bought the Cecil Peak Station, which is on Lake Wakitipu across from Queenstown, New Zealand. The only access was by boat or small airplane. Jerry built an octagon shaped house and to get around a law that a foreigner could not own a permanent home, it was built on skids and was not attached to pillars."
History: Anyone know anything more about this photo of Miss NZ, Moananui Akiwa Manley, who collapsed at the 1954 Miss Universe Contest at Long Beach California, apparently from the heat.
Video: True facts about frogs. For grown up people...
Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz.
