Nobody, including Larry, is laughing now. (Via Criggo.com)
Cold turkey in the monkey cage
An orang-utan in Malaysia called Shirley - famous for smoking cigarettes thrown into her enclosure - is being helped to kick the habit. Officials at Malacca Zoo say she has gone "cold turkey" andwill be sent to a wildlife centre in Borneo once her rehabilitation is complete. Zoo chief Ahmad Azhar Mohammed said she was so far displaying a regular appetite for food and no obvious signs of depression and illness. "I would say she is not addicted... but she might have formed a habit after mimicking human beings who were smoking around her," he said. (Source: BBC)
Catch one, miss one ...
A reader writes: "Our 8-year-old son's class was asked by the teacher to write a story about a recent event involving their family. He wrote "My mother went to middlemore hospital for a tubular liaison." The teacher, in her wisdom, referred his story on to the headmaster. His response was to say - "It was a great story, Middlemore is spelt with a capital M."
Why do my fingers get all wrinkly during baths? According to science: "Much like the tread on a tyre, [raisin fingers] improve traction." Makes sense really. Apparently, the nervous system controls the wrinkle response, and it has nothing to do with bloating or water absorption." (Via Gawker.com)
Do as I say
"I said/thought it and it happened" stories: 1) Rob writes: "Once when travelling to Christchurch from Picton on a bus for a concert, one of my bandmates spoke about the driveshaft falling off his car on the motorway. A short while later we heard an ominous tapping noise, then massive bangs and woodchips flew up from the floor. Not the driveshaft thankfully, but the tyre had blown out and the steel radial belts were tearing around the axle and smashing holes in the floor." 2) Kat writes: "My flatmate and I decided to walk to Parnell one Sunday morning for breakfast. It was sporadically raining. My flatmate told me I should 'Cast a spell to make the rain stop' (she'd just finished reading Harry Potter). So I waved my arms and said 'Stopus rainus' ... It totally stopped raining."
Safer than it looks
Following up the snippet last week about the unguarded security van with the keys in the ignition: "There's no need to worry; these vans have a sophisticated central looking system and the door locks are high-security, coded, tamper-proof ones."