Sideswipe: Praying for a new washing machine

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Confused... a misinterpreted Facebook update

Dropped in it

A Bay of Islands man who bought a lottery ticket after being hit on the head by bird droppings has won $100,000. The man said he bought an Instant Kiwi Scratch & Win after friends told him that the bird droppings were a lucky sign. "I thought it was a load of rubbish, but when I was in a Lotto shop I had $5 left in my wallet so thought I would buy a scratchie and test my luck," he said."I could not believe it when I scratched the right numbers and realised I had won $100,000."
(Source: Telegraph.co.uk)

Job opportunity

Sarah writes: "As my husband is such a rabid right-winger, I thought it quite funny that he received a letter from Labour list MP Darien Fenton introducing herself and inviting him to a meeting on education. However, he got the last laugh because the third paragraph begins, 'Labour is very concerned about rising employment ...' Not so concerned about proofreading, obviously."

Hop in for a bargain

Robert Inwood writes: "I was skimming the Easter Escape Sale brochure from Kathmandu and on page 7 it was offering up to 50 per cent off selected footwear ... I read on, but only to the hiking boot section, where near a picture of a boot it said 'save $220'. In larger print in the bottom right hand corner of the picture of these boots: NOW $129.98 each! Perhaps they are hoping all the one-legged hikers will be rushing in to buy."

Short spree

A reader is being bombarded by "Win a $200 shopping spree in Newmarket" emails. "To be picky, spending $200 in pricey ole Newmarket doesn't sound much like a 'spree' to me," she says. "Must've left off the last zero, surely?"

Suffer in silence

Helen is old-school: "I have just received my new telephone directories. Please let me get in first this year and implore all those bores who don't want the Yellow Pages in book form because they are so clever and do everything online to silently throw their unwanted directories in the recycling bin. Let's not have another dreary round of discussion about it."

Kin't ya say Cane?

Funny Kiwi pronunciations (choldrun, tin past sivin) ... Liz writes: "I become increasingly irritated by sports announcers who say 'Hurra-kins' not 'Hurricanes'."