A reader writes: "Spam emails can be so entertaining and poetic/surreal sometimes. Instead of instantly deleting them more people should read them first. Someone somewhere worked hard on their prose, they deserve a little bit of attention. I once received a spam email that started like this: 'I am a Murder Agent, am from Kuwait and I've no other job than to kill to survive ... You have been betrayed by someone very, very close to you. He paid me to kill you and I don't know what you did to him and I don't care to know ... but the person wants you dead and right now your life is in your own hands ... You have just 6 days to live after that me and my men shall come for your life.' And it went on in the same charming tone."
Praise be, there was no 'E'
"Driving along Pakuranga Highway on Saturday we passed a car with the personalised plate 'HYMN'. My daughter squeals in shock, 'Why would anybody do that?!' I do a double-take - have I really raised her to be so intolerant of religion? As it turns out she'd been studying the reproductive system and thought it translated to HYMEN. Grief!"